A 23-year-old man was arrested in County Wexford today after he was found to be breaking the 2km travel zone during the coronavirus shutdown.
The young man stated that he was on his way back from the Gulag and was trying to return to Verdansk. Upon searching his car, the authorities found a MP7 submachine gun, a sniper rifle, a molotov cocktail and a parachute.
"He was clearly in a hurry," said a spokesperson. "When we pulled him over he claimed that he had just shot a man numerous times with a pistol in the Gulag and was deservedly travelling back to the 'Boneyard,' and that his 'squad' were waiting for him."
When questioned as to how he had ended up in this "Gulag" the man said "I haven't a bloody clue. One second I was minding my own business, climbing up to the roof of the Superstore, the next I was being dragged by two men into the Gulag and thrown to the wolves!"
Police also believe that he assaulted numerous people while in the Gulag, throwing stones at innocent bystanders before making his escape. His bail has been set at $4,500 but the man claimed there was no hope that his mates would be able to pay it as "they're useless shites."
Meanwhile, many people on social media have been calling on the government to ban all flights to Verdansk for the good of everyone's blood pressure.
Also Read: This €20 PS4 & Xbox Quiz Game Lets You Play With Your Friends Remotely
