On our rock in the Atlantic, you can't assume a greater title than 'King of the Cone'.
One cone, one rear-wheel drive motor, one driver. The art of diffin' has been revered in this country since motorised transport was invented.
Yet, for most of us, and particularly those of us who aren't from Donegal, the chance at becoming 'King of the Cone' is the stuff of dreams. However, thanks to the people at Pool Party Games, you can now attempt to assume the crown on your mobile phone.
'Diffin Game' has a simple premise: start diffin' and keep diffin'.
The game's commentary is provided by Irish musicians TPM (also known as The Mary Wallopers and, in everyday life, the Hendy brothers).
The duo offer sage advice throughout your diffin', including classic lines like "if you can't lift her, don't shift her" and "if the junction's empty, give her plenty".
If you excel at diffin', you can activate 'Green Diesel Mode'.
'Green Diesel Mode' will send your drift into overdrive, speeding your Toyota Carolla AE46 around the solitary cone and spitting green clouds of smoke around the anonymous car park. Remember, in diffin', there's no discrimination when it comes to fuel.
Of course, not everyone can become 'King of the Cone'. Your Toyota may eventually touch the cone, thus ending your diff. Immediately, you'll be accused of being a "bogey pilot" should you knick the cone.
However, it's not all vitriol coming your way, those wonderful commentators want to ensure you're hydrated and ready for another crack at the cone. "Will someone give that eejit a bottle of Boost and 20 Silk Cut Purple?"
It's the kind of hospitality that you wouldn't get in any other competition.
So, now we can find out once and for all, do all Irish guys drive stick?
You can download Diffin Game for iOS here and Android here.
