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5 Other Toughest Trade Swaps That Absolutely Need To Be Part Of Series 3

5 Other Toughest Trade Swaps That Absolutely Need To Be Part Of Series 3
Conor Neville
By Conor Neville
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The Toughest Trade once more garnered much acclaim from the masses, principally on account of Aidan O'Shea's rendition of an Ed Sheeran song and his meeting with the Flying Doctor Padraig Carney.

We've witnessed O'Shea in the NFL Combine, David Bentley being landed on his backside by a malevolent Nordie wing back, Steve Harmison stopping other lads from hurling.

But, we have some humble suggestions for next year. These have to form part of Series Three.

Ronan O'Gara  to swap with Miami Dolphins kicker Caleb Sturgis

We all heard that this was going to happen. Then it turned out to be bullshit. The IRFU were apparently convinced by it and that's all that mattered. Ronan O'Gara proudly revealed in his 2008 autobiography that the Miami Dolphins story was a ruse designed to put pressure on the IRFU to up their game in the salary negotiations.

However, Ronan has put the idea in everyone's head now. He's probably nervously sitting by the phone waiting for the Toughest Trade people to call.

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The plan would involve Andres Franks swapping places with Ronan and embarking on a spot of kick coaching in France. Which would be rather boring.

There's nothing in this to say it has to be a direct swap. I don't remember Bentley playing for Sunderland. A few challenge matches for Cork Con could be arranged.

The Toughest Trade people appear to have some sort of arrangement with sports teams in Miami anyway.

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Seanie Johnston to swap with the Coill Dubh player who played the remaining 68 and a half minutes of that match

Okay, so we have seen how former dual star Seanie Johnston fared in his brief cameo role for Coill Dubh in the Kildare hurling championship. But what did the Coill Dubh players get out of the whole enterprise? Nothing.

So we propose that Seanie swap places with the guy who played the last 68 and a half minutes of that game against Eire Óg-Corrachoill (in which Coill Dubh emerged triumphant. Seanie Johnston has a 100% record in hurling).

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The Coill Dubh player will thus have to line out for either Cavan (or failing that Cavan Gaels) in this year's championship. Seanie has an advantage here as he has been there and done that in the game of hurling. He will get to expand on the early promise he showed for Coill Dubh five years ago in this year's championship.

Swapping Darts fans with Golf fans

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This is an unusual one and a departure from the Toughest Trade precedent that was established last night. It is a tricky one to pull off and may incorporate a certain level of deceit. We have to gather a load of boozy darts fans in one place on the understanding that they are going to file into an auditorium to watch some lads throw some arrows. When they show up in the rendezvous spot, it will become apparent that they will not be seeing any darts.

The song 'Chase the Sun' by Planet Funk will be played whenever there is a fairway hit of the tee, whenever there is a green hit off the fairway and wherever there is a putt sunk. John Daly is likely to become the new crowd's favourite golfer.

Darts players meanwhile will have to cope with the earnest, respectful sobriety of golf fans. It will be an eerie experience.

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Henry Shefflin to play against Pakistan in the Cricket World Cup - Kevin O'Brien to play the last round of League fixtures

djc

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Cricket was Ireland's most popular sport in the nineteenth century. Ireland hammered a travelling England team in 1855 and beat them a few times in the 1860s. Historians have noted it was particularly popular around the Tipperary and Kilkenny regions.

Once the GAA decided to pull hard on cricket in the late nineteenth century, hurling stepped in and helped to almost wipe it out.

It's asking a lot of the producers to arrange for Shefflin to be parachuted in at no.5 bat for Ireland's next match but we reckon it's doable. Brendan Maher managed to hit a boundary in his tense over down in Adelaide. Shefflin should be able to cope.

We're confident that Kevin O'Brien could make an impact in one of Kilkenny's upcoming League games. We are even more confident that Brian Cody will choose to select him.

 Conor McGregor to swap with Ruby Walsh

This is one we are particularly excited about. Conor McGregor is a limber enough chap but how well would he be able to lift himself from the floor if a horse fell on top of him. The UFC has a reputation among old-style pugilists for being artless and overly violent. However, there can't be too many UFC fighters who've sustained this many injuries.

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