Since the avowed gospel of MMA chat, Ariel Helwani, indicated an hour ago that Conor McGregor's retirement tweet is something we should be taking seriously, our MMA department has become a frantic hive of activity, finding angle after angle, busily cranking out the stories.
Those of us over here in the non-McGregor corner of the office (contrary to popular belief, we do write the occasional story) have been largely sitting idle, tentatively arguing for the news value of Dan Shanahan's recent comments about Clare.
But, no, the only thing for it is to muck in and add to the frenzy. For the non-MMA fans, here are the five things that could give a clue as to what's going on here.
Heeding the cautionary words of Joe Brolly
Contrary to what the vast majority of twitter using Sunday Game watchers pretend to think of a Sunday evening, Joe Brolly is a practising barrister who knows how to construct an argument.
Maybe Joe's eloquent, if divisive, salvo, against combat sports in the Sunday Independent stopped the Notorious dead in his tracks. Gave him a new perspective.
If so, he may promptly return to Crumlin to spend the remainder of his athletic life kicking balls around Lorcan O'Toole Park.
He's joining the WWE
Mark Farrelly, Cavan football nut, overgrown wrestling enthusiast, and the esteemed Cavan correspondent of Balls.ie, couldn't help but notice the recent spate of follows McGregor has garnered from the playacting community.
Among McGregor's recent follows.... CONSPIRACY! ????? #arse pic.twitter.com/JYnsEuzIl7
— Mark Farrelly (@MarkFarrelly131) April 19, 2016
Unfinished business with the plumbing
With due apologies to the plumbers union, when Conor McGregor knocked out Jose Aldo in 13 seconds in December last, he established a reputation as being one of the few plumbers in the country to complete a job in the time he specified.
Maybe, he will return home to revolutionise the plumbing industry. John Kavanagh is after saying as much in the last few minutes.
Sticking to his past declarations
Always making plain his admiration for the mighty dollar, Conor McGregor has long insisted that his career objective is to make buckets of money and quit the game.
Perhaps he is simply honouring that promise
But then maybe, he wants to return home and challenge his old nemesis Ken Egan for a seat on Dublin Corporation.
IF Conor McGregor was going to retire, he wouldn't do it with a tweet. More likely a parade down the strip of Las Vegas. #Business #Cheese
— Balls.ie (@ballsdotie) April 19, 2016
Attempting the most colossal leg-pull by an Irishman since James Joyce's Finnegans Wake
James Joyce's friend and rival Oliver St. John Gogarty described Finnegans Wake as 'the most colossal leg pull in literature since McPherson's Ossian.'
McGregor's grave announcement tonight may represent the most colossal leg pull from an Irishman since Joyce burped out his 1939 tome.
Sadly, this is not the first time the career of Conor McGregor has been linked with the work of James Joyce. That honour goes to the Irish Times.
All in all: We're inclined to think it's the last one.
Read more: 'It's Not Wrestling A Lion': David Herity On Playing Senior Football For Kilkenny
Read more: OK... That McGregor Tweet Is Either Real, Or A Very Elaborate Troll With Ariel Helwani Involved
