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Some Of The Irish Player Faces In Pro Evolution Soccer 5 Were Utterly Hilarious

Mikey Traynor
By Mikey Traynor
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2004 was a simpler time. Pro Evo was the undisputed king, and after absolutely everyone loved the shit out of Pro Evolution Soccer 4, we were left frothing at the mouth for the latest version. And PES 5 didn't disappoint.

The gameplay was spot on, the game modes were deep and rewarding, and the graphics were really good for the time. The key-phrase there is "for the time", because as time has gone on and we have seen two new generations of consoles with vastly superior graphical power, we are now in a position to look back and laugh, like any photo of you from the 1990's.

Players like Robbie Keane, Damien Duff, Steve Finnan, and Ian Harte for some reason, all looked really good with obvious time and care taken to design their faces accurately, but the rest of the Irish squad? So bad they are hilarious.

We went back to PES 5 to get a good look at the Irish squad, and here are the mug-shots that we couldn't help but laugh at.

Shay Given:

Clearly one of Ireland's most important players at time, Shay Given looked like your mate's younger brother who came along to 5-a-side to make up the numbers.

Gary Doherty:


They didn't really capture the "essence" of big Gary did they? His iconic Irishness was instead represented by a generic blonde man, who would look more at home in the Sweden squad.


Kenny Cunningham:

Is this Gary Doherty's clearly Swedish twin brother? A full head of blonde hair and unimposing eyebrows? Come on, Konami.

Richard Dunne:

Baffling. While Richard Dunne perhaps didn't have the national hero status that he enjoys today, in 2004, we're still upset that this wannabe male-model looks like one of Derek Zoolander's mates, not our Cookie Monster.

Roy Keane:

It looks a bit like Roy Keane, but really friendly and welcoming, so therefore it looks absolutely nothing like Roy Keane. It just looks wrong. Roy Keane the player never once looked like this, it was only when his dog-loving alter ego did charity work that we saw anything close to this.


Kevin Kilbane:

Zinedine Kilbane was digitally created to look like a kid who won a competition to have his photo taken along with Irish squad. A piss poor attempt.

Liam Miller:

Eh... This is Phil Neville with black hair. This is literally Phil Neville with black hair.

Stephen Elliot:

When did Stephen Elliot model his facial hair on the lead singer of Crazytown? We must have missed that. Regardless of that thing on his chin, this Love/Hate extra is nothing like the injury plagued speedster we know and love.


Clinton Morrison:

If he's not smirking then he's not the Clint Commander. Not acceptable for a man of his status. And he was the bloody peak of his powers in 2004 as well!

See also: The Top 5 Pro Evolution Soccer Soundtrack Songs From The Glory Days Of PES

See also: What Made Adriano So Damn Good In Pro Evo? A Statistical Analysis

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