'It Was Like Somalia'

Donny Mahoney
By Donny Mahoney
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We’ve been entertaining ourselves with reports from the battlefield at James Madison University over the weekend, where a Natty Light fest deteriorated into Burning Man after a few kegs. Things got pretty ugly and a riot squad that could probably take over Ireland had to be called in to settle the situation.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJJNTLwGLFo[/youtube]

(I love citizen journalism as much as the next guy, but Robert Fisk, this isn't.)

After reading excerpts from the James Madison University Daily Breeze, we were wondering if a minibus of Leeds United supporters on the way to the Southend match had made a wrong turn and ended up in Virginia:

“They pissed all over floor, spilled beer all over the floor, basically trashed the place,” Cline said. “Our parking lot was trashed. Ever since they’ve had these parties it’sl been fine. [Saturday] night none of them had any respect. Tlhey literally cussed us for not opening the doors to let them get more beer.”

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Turns out it was honest-to-goodness college students. And we all know there's only one way to contain drunk white college students: blunt military force.

“It was like Somalia here at night,” Collichio said. “There was a helicopter with a spotlight going around. There was text messages from JMU saying if you were throwing any sort of party in Forest Hills you would be arrested. It was like a war zone.”

It’s a slight bit of hyperpbole – we know all what US helicoptors do in real war zones. Still, we watched the inevitable Tiger Woods parody and felt the slightest tinge of horror.

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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ig4BzACBgrs[/youtube]

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(Pic via Deadspin)

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