As was reported yesterday, Bournemouth midfielder Jordan Ibe was robbed at knifepoint after his car had been rammed. His attackers made off with Ibe's £25,000 Rolex watch. A distressing incident, it also occurred only four days after Andy Carroll was the victim of an alleged attempted robbery.
The Metropolitan Police had this to say.
One of the suspects threatened the victim with a knife before stealing his watch. The victim was not injured.
At this early stage, officers are investigating whether the suspects intentionally collided with the victim's car.
Enter Leon Knight, a 34 year old former Chelsea trainee with a great future behind him. Knight's career took him to Swansea and Wycombe and later on to Glentoran. His twitter account, for those who can decipher it, is something of a curiosity. He's got into scrapes there before.
It was while at Glentoran in 2012 that Knight offended his then employers by voicing his opposition to gay marriage. Prompted by Barack Obama's declaration in favour of gay marriage ahead of that year's Presidential election, Knight logged onto twitter to express his bafflement at the concept of male homosexuality.
“Each to their own but I don’t know how a man can be gay”
What has he got to do with Jordan Ibe being robbed?
Well, Knight tweeted first Jack Wilshire and then Jordan himself, saying he could get back the watch.
Here are his tweets.
“@JackWilshere holla at Jordan Ibe or whatever his name is. The ex Liverpool don playing for u. I can get back his iced out kettle"
“Yo @IbeJordon It’s about that day in Surrey keys (sic)... where them boys stripped u down in the shopping centre.
“Can’t get back the watch for nothing tho. The roads don’t work like that. Road men look at it like, I’VE risked my freedom for that watch.”
The first tweet is Knight setting out his stall. He contacts Jack Wilshire and tells him to tell Jordan that he is able to get back the £25,000 Rolex. An "iced out kettle" is rhyming slang for watch.
By the time he sends the second tweet, he realises that Jordan Ibe has his own twitter account and that he doesn't need to be using Jack Wilshire as an intermediary. By "Surrey Keys", he means 'Surrey Quays', an residential area in south-east London.
In the third tweet, he adds in the proviso that he'll not be able to get the watch back for nothing. There follows a brief lecture on the nature of 'the roads'. In this case, "roads" sound like a synonym for "streets", as in mean streets.
Ibe has declined Knight's offer of help and is evidently deciding to take his chances with the police.
Knight confirmed as much on twitter later on, saying he had spoken to him.
Couldn't of said it better myself. He said he don't want no help so I left it at that. Spoke to him on the phone. ?? https://t.co/g4p41Zm1Bf
— Knighty (@LeonKnight_) November 20, 2016