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Niall Quinn At 50: From Hurling To Quick Broadband, Marvel At This Man's Sheer Versatility

Niall Quinn At 50: From Hurling To Quick Broadband, Marvel At This Man's Sheer Versatility
Conor Neville
By Conor Neville
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As Martin Tyler once said of the man, "he plays all sorts of other sports too..."

That he does, and much more. Quinny has done much in his full and wonderful life. On the 6th October 1966, he came into the world. Here's a brief but heartfelt tribute to all he has done in the intervening half-century.

Hurler

We are all, I am sure, familiar with Quinny's hurling exploits back in the 80s.

He blasted an eye-catching 3-5 in the Leinster minor final against Wexford in 1983, the kind of spectacular display that even has the stragglers who only arrive in for the senior match muttering about "that lad wearing no.13 in the corner."

The final didn't go quite to plan as the Dubs were beaten by Galway in a very low scoring game. Incidentally, this was Galway's first ever All-Ireland minor title. They've won about 400 since then.

Still, Quinn caught the eye, floating over a magnificent point in the second half.

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Had he spurned the charms of Highbury and London living, the Dubs might have made the provincial breakthrough at senior level at the turn of the 90s.

Gaelic footballer 

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A medal that Quinn no doubt treasures is his Junior C Kildare medal with Eadestown in 2008. He subsequently took over the management of that same team. See the above package from the Sunday Game in 2012.

TV ad man

Quinn has been quite prolific in this department, stretching right the way back to the days when the word "isotonic" first came into our lives.

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For his 1992 Lucozade sport ad, filmed in both Lansdowne Road and Tolka Park, he read the autocue with fierce and most un-footballer like passion. This was not just a man getting in and out and picking up the cheque.

However, our favourite performance of Quinny's ad-wise is from one in which he didn't even participate.

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He was the off-screen protagonist, a la Del Boy's mother in Only Fools and Horses or Bob Sacamano in Seinfeld.

We speak of a Surf/Persil/Bold ad in which Quinn's lovely wife Gillian had all the lines.

Late in the piece, she tossed the box of *insert whichever washing detergent it was* in big Niall's direction. Disaster struck as he fumbled the box and let it fall to the floor.

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Gillian reacted philosophically by winking to the camera and remarking - quite wrongly - that "he's not a goalkeeper".

Goalkeeper

It was no doubt distressing for Niall to realise his wife was so poorly acquainted with the details of his career.

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This is for those who, like his other half, fail to fully appreciate Quinny's versatility.

Not only was he one of the two Irish players who scored at Italia 90, he also travelled to the World Cup as Ireland's third goalkeeper.

Admittedly, it was understood he was only to be called upon in the event of a very rare crisis. But we know from his time at City that he wouldn't have let us down in our hour of need. Particularly if the Dutch just passed the time passing it around the back amongst themselves.

In one game for City against Derby in 1991, he put the hosts 1-0 up with a splendid volley. Moments later Tony Coton was sent off for hand-tripping Dean Saunders in the box (seriously, how many clubs did Saunders play for?). Quinn stepped up, got down low and pushed Saunders' pen wide. The City players and fans loved it.

As Martin Tyler said, "it was a tremendous save from a very agile man who plays all sorts of other sports..."

Internet mogul

In doing so, he leaned on his own advertisement acting skills.

Living out in the sticks, Quinn spotted in the gap in the market in the area of speedy broadband. Q-Sat was born.

The company says it provides "mixed technology broadband solutions for businesses and companies in the UK and Ireland. This is not a sponsored post. 

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Can you see the sky, people?

George Mitchell-style peace envoy

Niall Quinn

Hands up, he may not have been as successful in this field as former US Senator George Mitchell.

But then Mitchell only had to sort out the Northern Ireland conflict. Quinny had to mediate in a conflict where the enmity was far more vicious and personal.

And he got so close.

Mother Teresa impersonator

This was more a slur than anything, a sneer at his goody-two shoes reputation. His book (see below) attempted to remind the world of his missteps and younger hell-raising.

Still, in spite of all the sneering, the fact remains that Niall Quinn is a fundamentally good person.

Author

Quinn's autobiography, which was to the credit of all involved not titled 'The Mighty Quinn', elevated itself above the rest of the football autobiography genre by winning a place among the nominees for the William Hill Sports Book of the Year award.

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Pundit

His work on this front appears to be divisive, with the internet split between those who regard his punditry as "terrible" and those hard taskmasters who insist that his punditry is "monumentally terrible".

But then social media is an unforgiving judge and there are a lot of people left in the world who don't support Man City. Quinn has admitted in the past that he doesn't read the stuff and we advise him to continue with that policy (should he read this).

Co-commentator

If there is one activity in which it is harder to shine than that of pundit, it is co-commentator. Rare is the co-commentator who gets through 90 minutes these days without trending on twitter for 'all the wrong reasons.'

The anger football fans feel towards co-commentators is comparable only to the anger US conspiracy theorists feel towards the Chairman of the Federal Reserve.

Quinn hasn't escaped the worst of the abuse. Indeed, he suffers more than most whenever he agrees to do 90 minutes for Sky. The only reason Michael Owen takes more of a battering is because he does more games.

Chairman

A darling of the regulars at Roker Park and later the soulless Stadium of Light, Quinn was elevated to the status of secular saint when he stepped up to become chairman of the troubled club in the summer of 2006.

Under Quinn and his Drumaville consortium's leadership, they promptly returned to the Premier League and, despite a few wobbles, haven't been out of there since.

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Manager (for about 4 games)

Speaking of wobbles, Quinn, for the want of a better alternative, tried his hand at football management early doors in the 2006-07 season. One of the big things about Quinny is he is quick to realise his limitations. Four losses from four in the League and then a 2-0 loss to lowly Bury in the League Cup.

He reassured fans that this wouldn't be going on much longer before promising the imminent arrival of a world class manager.

Keano's claim to being a world class manager is hotly disputed now. But he did the trick for Sunderland.

League of Ireland marketing guru

On RTE's Game On programme last year, he came with a left-field vision to reinvigorate the LOI. Namely, by flogging the TV rights to stations from developing nations who are gagging for live football.

There's emerging countries all around the world and their TV companies are desperate for content. I know I can watch football from Chile and Honduras at 2.00 or 3.00 in the morning and that's money that's making its way from TV companies back into local football in those countries.

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