WWE Battleground last night had a bit of everything: Superbowl-style power outages, GIANT swings, Darth Maul face paint, Exorcist-like crab walks and horribly received finishes to the show. Not bad for a card that didn’t appear to offer much on paper.
On the show, Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton’s WWE Championship contest ended in a No Contest when the Big Show knocked out both of them; CM Punk defeated Ryback to get his first major win in his feud with former manager Paul Heyman; the Rhodes Family tore the house down to beat The Shield in a tag-team match and Alberto Del Rio retained his World Championship in a thrilling hardcore match to open the night.
Here were the highlights of the show, as told by Twitter:
A lot of people weren’t optimistic about Battleground’s lackluster looking card…
Battleground is a late-night booty call to your worst ex-girlfriend.
— David Shoemaker (@AKATheMaskedMan) October 7, 2013
The jokes about RVD’s singlet started almost as soon as the opening match got underway…
Hey RVD, I'm a big fan of your Pikachu singlet. Was your Charizard singlet in the wash? #WWEBattleground
— Top Rope Tuesday (@TopRopeTuesday) October 7, 2013
Clean-C-W?
It's like ECW, except that some of the fans have showered this week. #WWEBattleground
— Kayfabe News (@KayfabeNews) October 7, 2013
...it's the thought that counts!
crowd: "we want tables"
rvd: "here's a chair!!"
#WWEBattleground— Emil J (@GuapoEmilJ) October 7, 2013
The Internet exploded as Antonio Cesaro hit the giant swing on the Great Khali to win…
CESARO BEATS KHALI WITH THE SWING! YES! MY GOD, THIS IS BRILLIANT! #WWEBattleground
— WrestlingNewsSource (@WNSource) October 7, 2013
As well-intentioned as WWE’s breast cancer awareness campaign is, they may need to work on their tact…
"Cancer was the number one trend on Raw last week." I'm just gonna leave that there.
— David Shoemaker (@AKATheMaskedMan) October 7, 2013
That’d be Perfect…
New crowd chant for Curtis Axel:
''You Dad Was Awesome''
*clap clap clapclapclap*— MaffewOfBotchamania (@Maffewgregg) October 7, 2013
I thought I was the only one...
I try to plan my bathroom breaks so I come out when @WWEAJLee's theme music plays so I can skip back to the couch. #WWEBattleground
— Marty DeRosa (@MartyDeRosa) October 7, 2013
Oof. Now those are only rumours. Awful, awful rumours. (The content of these tweets do not represent the opinions ofballs.ie, Rick Nash etc)
@TaminaSnuka learned how to rag doll a woman like that from her dad. #WWEBattleground #jimmysnukakilledachick
— Zak (@ZJerrett) October 7, 2013
People loved Goldust’s Darth Maul-style facepaint…
Where's Goldust's double bladed lightsaber?? #WWEBattleground
— Heels Are People Too (@HeelsArePeople2) October 7, 2013
I'm going as Goldust for Halloween. and every day after that. #WWEBattleground
— Samantha G. (@samthrax) October 7, 2013
That's actually the first thing they teach you in wrestling school...
Ambrose has given some great performances, but his entire career will be judged by how he takes a Bionic Elbow ringside. #WWEBattleground
— Doug Lackey (@dougwrestleview) October 7, 2013
We all have our specialties…
If there's one thing @CodyRhodesWWE is comfortable with, it's being in a tag match with a partner who has more charisma #WWEBattleground
— WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) October 7, 2013
Random, stupid tweets like this is why I love doing these recaps…
The Hounds of Sid Justice. #WWEBattleground pic.twitter.com/1AsNOLk7Be
— Kayfabe News (@KayfabeNews) October 7, 2013
That's actually what happens when you try one for the first time and land on your face...
Did you know autocorrect changes moonsault to moo daily? #WWEBattleground
— John Gardner (@wombatdeamor) October 7, 2013
When the Rhodes' won the reaction on Twitter momentarily echoed the reaction to an episode of Grey's Anatomy...
OMGGGGGG OGGGGG I'M CRYING #WWEBattleground
— ? wolverine. (@xWWEAddicted) October 7, 2013
Yeah WWE didn't think the backstage segment with Brad Maddox updating Stephanie on the night’s happenings through...
Even Stephanie isn't watching #WWEBattleground
— Big Nasty (@ThisIsNasty) October 7, 2013
True…
"I got Kofi taking this one, you guys" - Nobody. #WWEBattleground
— Arda Ocal (@arda_ocal) October 7, 2013
I really wish I'd thought of this comeback when people chanted it at me...
There is nothing worse than the "you can't wrestle" chants.
YOU CAN'T WRESTLE, MORONS! #WWEBattleground
— The One Who Coughs (@PJMC92) October 7, 2013
Wait and see...
You know that one day a clip of this match will be used on a Punk DVD with people pointing out how he can work with ANYONE. #WWEBattleground
— Rick Nash (@AMTRick) October 7, 2013
I'm tapping out of WWE TV if they give birth to a hand...
A Paul Heyman/Ryback relationship has the potential to be the 21st century version of Mark Henry and Mae Young. #WWEBattleground
— Wrestle Talk TV (@WrestleTalk_TV) October 7, 2013
Just as we got ready for the main event, the power went out. It didn't take long for conspiracy theories to start...
Sin Cara accidentally pulls the feed to the show by tripping over some cables backstage.
— MaffewOfBotchamania (@Maffewgregg) October 7, 2013
This is what happens when @TripleH leaves early #WWEBattleground
— WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) October 7, 2013
Things got back underway and the title match between Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton was animal…
Viper with a crab on a goat! #WWEBattleground
— Beekonic Elbow (@JaimsVanDerBeek) October 7, 2013
The Big Show turned heel, attacking the referee and Daniel Bryan. He then turned face, attacking replacement referee Scott Armstrong and Randy Orton to end the show. People were…not happy…
Paging "FINISH"! Paging "FINISH" to the ring! You're needed!
— Sugar Dunkerton (@SugarDunkerton) October 7, 2013
So wait.....The Big Show wins wrestling? Or something? I'm confused. Therefore I'm going to go to bed, I just can't take this confusion.
— El Ligero (@Ligero1) October 7, 2013
In hindsight we should have just stuck with the power outage #WWEBattleground
— WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) October 7, 2013
WWE Battleground Quick Results
Pre-Show: DOLPH ZIGGLER def. DAMIEN SANDOW
Hardcore Match: World Champion, ALBERTO DEL RIO def. ROB VAN DAM
THE REAL AMERICANS def. THE GREAT KHALI & HORNSWOGGLE
Intercontinental Champion, CURTIS AXEL def. R-TRUTH
Divas Champion, AJ LEE def. BRIE BELLA
Non-Title Match: CODY RHODES & GOLDUST def. SETH ROLLINS & ROMAN REIGNS
BRAY WYATT def. KOFI KINGSTON
CM PUNK def. RYBACK
WWE Championship Match: DANIEL BRYAN vs. RANDY ORTON ended in a No Contest
Rick Nash is a former professional wrestler and the founder of WWE Parties Ireland. He is also a DJ and terrible sports gambler, so feel free to share some tips with him on Twitter.
