It was a night that saw CM Punk and Brock Lesnar compete in a match of the year candidate, with The Beasting beating The Best. Daniel Bryan won and lost the WWE Championship, first pinning John Cena as the Staples Centre (and Woolshed Baa in Dublin) exploded, only to receive a Pedigree from special referee Triple H moments later, allowing Randy Orton to successfully cash-in his Money in the Bank contract. Alberto Del Rio retained his World Championship in an epic battle with Christian; Bray Wyatt beat Kane in a Ring of Fire Match; Cody Rhodes took out former tag-team partner, Damien Sandow; Rob van Dam won his pre-show match for the US Championship by disqualification, meaning Dean Ambrose retained; and the divas match was…kinda good! Here’s the best of the night’s tweets…
Christian uses rumours of his imminent retirement to try and hawk a shirt. ABC: Always Be Closing, pal.
One. More......... Shirt http://t.co/Zk8xt86cXK
— Christian (@Christian4Peeps) August 18, 2013
Shawn Michaels with a zinger on the pre-show panel…
HBK: "I was told this pre-show would mainly be focused around me so.....*awkward stare at Vickie". Brilliant. Pre-Show is live! #summerslam
— WrestlingNewsSource (@WNSource) August 18, 2013
An accurate, if somewhat unnecessary, observation during RVD/Ambrose…
Now that Big Show lost some weight from his chest he no longer has male camel-toe. #TotalDivas #SummerSlam
— Marty DeRosa (@MartyDeRosa) August 18, 2013
Jo-Jo from ‘Total Divas’ on E! sang the national anthem…
Who wants to see @LilianGarcia run in and attack @ItsJoseann during the USA national anthem? (I just popped myself) #SummerSlam
— Joey Styles (@JoeyStyles) August 19, 2013
People had trouble taking the Ring of Fire match seriously…
Thousands and thousands of tea candles straight from hell #SummerSlam
— Wrestling Memes (@Wrestling_Memes) August 19, 2013
People were not happy with Cody Rhodes having a face like a baby’s bottom…
Missing: one moustache. If found please return to @CodyRhodesWWE #SummerSlam #wwe
— Wrestling Memes (@Wrestling_Memes) August 19, 2013
SPOILER: He didn’t…
Wonder if that reddit guy predicted that Sandow/Rhodes would be the match where @MichaelCole lists the countries this PPV airs #SummerSlam
— WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) August 19, 2013
Woolshed’s level of interest in the divas match was near-unanimous…
The bar has never been as packed as it is right now #WomenMatch #WoolshedSlam #Summerslam
— Sean Coffey (@Coffey_23) August 19, 2013
Lilian Garcia’s attempt at Alberto Del Rio’s ring introduction didn’t cut it…
That @LilianGarcia is no @RRWWE. Mainly because we didn't spend tons of money on Ricardo's failed recording career #SummerSlam
— WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) August 19, 2013
See? Even Ricardo doesn’t think so…
.............
— Ricardo Rodriguez (@RRWWE) August 19, 2013
He travels far and wide (in his ring gear) for a great gazpacho…
Why was Ryback in catering in the first place since he doesn't have a match? Logic eludes us. #SummerSlam
— WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) August 19, 2013
You know, I think I’d take the phallic dagger tatoo…
You can either have a phallic dagger tattoo on your chest, or you can be smart. But not both. #summerslam
— Kayfabe News (@KayfabeNews) August 19, 2013
During Punk/Lesnar… (In case you haven’t noticed yet, WWE Creative Humour owned the #SummerSlam hashtag last night)
There are not enough Divas matches in the world to cool the crowd down after this match #SummerSlam
— WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) August 19, 2013
The match was so good it got the Iron Shiek seal of approval. Nobody has gotten that since Nikolai Volkoff…
I love the Lesnar I love the Punk. Both Iron Sheik class #summerslam
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) August 19, 2013
And even JR’s trademark endorsement…
Dang....@CMPunk vs @BrockLesnar = #slobberknocker DEE-lux. #SummerSlam
— Jim Ross (@JRsBBQ) August 19, 2013
That’d probably do it actually…
The only way his match can follow "Best vs Beast" is if @HEELZiggler hits the ZigZag on the @Doritos boldest fan at ringside. #SummerSlam
— Joey Styles (@JoeyStyles) August 19, 2013
Oh. I got excited there for a moment…
The main question really in this match...is WILL RANDY ORTON cash in? and WILL anyone screw anyone? (non-sexually) #summerslam
— WrestlingNewsSource (@WNSource) August 19, 2013
Hawr…
If Cena wins we riot. Dad hates it when I riot.
— Indies Wrestler (@IndiesWrestler) August 19, 2013
After Cena hit the Batista Bomb…
Cena is like Walt out of #BreakingBad: he takes on the traits of whoever he's jobbed out. #SummerSlam #WoolshedSlam
— Rick Nash (@AMTRick) August 19, 2013
He’s not wrong…
Internet Wrestling Community enjoys simultaneous orgasm. #summerslam
— Kayfabe News (@KayfabeNews) August 19, 2013
The jokes didn’t take long to start after Triple H turned on Daniel Bryan…
That was the quickest @TripleH has ever buried a new WWE Champion. #SummerSlam
— WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) August 19, 2013
I think we were all waiting for this to happen…
Booooooooo. Un. Real. If Rick Flair shows up I'm gonna go OFF!! #evolution #SummerSlam
— Renee Young (@ReneeYoungWWE) August 19, 2013
Unfortunately, some missed the party…
"Sorry, I caught Total Divas for the last hour and missed the end, what happened?" Quotes that force you to reconsider life. #summerslam
— WrestlingNewsSource (@WNSource) August 19, 2013
WWE SummerSlam Results
DANIEL BRYAN defeated JOHN CENA to win the WWE Championship
RANDY ORTON defeated DANIEL BRYAN by cashing in his Money in the Bank contract to win the WWE Championship
BROCK LESNAR defeated CM PUNK in a No DQ Match
ALBERTO DEL RIO defeated CHRISTIAN to retain his World Heavyweight Championship
BRAY WYATT defeated KANE in a Ring of Fire Match
DOLPH ZIGGLER & KAITLYN defeated BIG E LANGSTON & AJ LEE
CODY RHODES defeated DAMIEN SANDOW
NATALYA defeated BRIE BELLA
Pre-Show: ROB VAN DAM defeated DEAN AMBROSE by DQ; Amrose retains US Championship.
Rick Nash is a former professional wrestler and the founder of WWE Parties Ireland. He is also a DJ and terrible sports gambler, so feel free to share some tips with him on Twitter.
