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This Is Not A Lie: Herpes Outbreak Stops Sexual Activity At British National Stud

This Is Not A Lie: Herpes Outbreak Stops Sexual Activity At British National Stud
By Donny Mahoney

Perhaps there is no better job in the animal kingdom than that of a male horse at a horse stud. You've done a few hard years of racing and you settle in for the good life of being a cleaned, impeccably-groomed, well-fed filly inseminator. Sleeping on satin bed linen, lounging in hot tubs, listening to Barry White around the clock, being gawked at by Emirati sheikhs, riding and riding: it's all in a day's work for these superhorses. I personally believe that Frankel spends his days trotting around the stud as if he's Padraig Harrington in 1991.

But all is not right in the world of British horsebreeding because the National Stud has had to
close due a herpes outbreak. The disease was found in a filly who arrived from 'overseas', a statement was keen to point out. (British horses, of course, have unimpeachable sexual morals)

The National Stud added:

"We are observing the requirements of the codes of practice and the main stud has now been closed on a precautionary basis."

"It is hoped that breeding activity can be resumed at the start of the covering season."

Officials have also had to close the National Stud to visitors, which makes you wonder what they feared might go wrong.

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