The news that PE is set to become a Leaving Certificate subject has students around the country rejoicing at what could be seen as an easy A1 come exam time. It's first exam will be in 2020 and it's expected to be introduced to more than 50 schools. But what form will the curriculum take? Well it should surely take inspiration from his origins as a complete doss class. Here is what PE class should look like now that it's a Leaving Cert exam.
1. If you have a note from a parent you are exempt from the exam and automatically pass the exam
Could prove quite controversial and many students may opt for it.
2. If you forget your gym clothes you automatically fail the exam
There has to be consequences people.
3. A dodgeball fight to the death will constitute 20% of your grade
One of the only other games that students actually enjoyed in PE playing was dodgeball. Not especially for the love of the game, but more for the opportunity to absolutely lamp the head off some poor chap.
4. If you get stuck in goals you get extra credit
Like the extra credit you get if you do the Leaving Cert 'as Gaeilge'. If you get stuck between the sticks for a prolonged time during any class you should be rewarded in kind. It's only fair.
5. A customary 'Bleep test'
Ah the fabled bleep test, the bane of many an unfit school kid. Apart from the couple of freaks that could seemingly go for days. This would be 5% of your overall mark.
6. You have to wear your favourite jersey to every class
Standard operating procedure here folks, extra points if they're vintage.
7. For the written part of the Leaving Certificate exam you must write a 2,000 words essay on why you should play football
Every single class of PE started the same way. A brow beaten teacher would try to introduce some diversity into proceedings. unihoc, badminton. anything. But try as they might they would not be able to quell the rallying call that was 'Miss/Sir can we play football?'. But some of the more stubborn teachers would go against the grain much to the chagrin of the soccer loving rabble. So this section of the new PE curriculum would engage students making them create compelling arguments as to why we should play soccer above any other sport.