Life can be cruel. As can sport, as we in this country have painfully realised over the past few days. When you give your all to try and achieve Olympic greatness, how painful it is to be denied your dream by corruption, unfairness and blatant, flagrant injustice.
Or, as the case may be, your own penis.
Japanese pole vaulter Hiroki Ogita was valiantly progressing in the pole vault heats at the Rio Olympics, and appeared to have cleared the 5.45 metre bar comfortably, sailing over the obstacle and looking set to fall to the mat triumphantly. Unfortunately for Ogita, an unfortunate, though entirely natural, protrusion prevented him from clearing the bar at his first attempt-and, thus, from progressing in the competition.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzLuET71THM
One hopes for Ogita's sake that he goes on to achieve success in his career. It would be highly unfortunate, if not completely hilarious, for the legacy of his career to, much like Charlie Sheen, be shaped by the uncontrolled meanderings of his male member.
Ogita claimed that his result hadn't been dictated (ahem) by the apparent collision between bar and balls, but perhaps wouldn't be quite so cock-sure on reviewing footage, which though not entirely conclusive does appear to show Ogita on his way happily clearing the pole-perhaps a little too happily, as it turns out-until his progress is suddenly halted in the manner that made him an internet sensation.
I never expected the foreign media to take me down like this. It's one thing if it was true, but I have to say I'm pretty devastated that they'd go so far to make something up to mock and ridicule me so much.
Ogita would later admit that the incident was "pretty funny", something that viewers watching agreed with entirely. Some pointed out (though not as much as Ogita did, unfortunately) that his performance may have a profound impact on the men of his home nation; some, predictably, took a rather more surface-level view.
Lucky he wasn't too excited…he may have got stuck up there!
— Shïppa-63 # The Album out now 🇺🇦 (@Shippa63) August 16, 2016
I don't get it. Why would people be ridiculing this man for having genitals? Should only eunuchs do the pole vault? https://t.co/bQUWSvRYLY
— Ennui and Apathy (@theblackwidower) August 17, 2016
Make up your own mind as to whether or not you believe Hiroki Ogita. Either way, we can all agree, it's a right cock-up.
