If you're one of those people who has wandered mindlessly into the biggest sports weekend in recent memory, we're here to help. Saturday is a particularly relentless day, so to try ease all the 'stress' we've put together a couple of helpful guides.
First of all, we got our sport on TV guides for what's on each day, and secondly, there's the all-important advice on when you might be actually able to tear yourself off the sofa for just a few minutes.
The Saturday Sports Schedule
Below you'll find some of sporting highlights for Saturday, that are available to watch on television or online. This isn't everything but if we went any further we'd have given ourselves blood pressure. A few other matches we should definitely note are Australia vs New Zealand at 8:45am in The Rugby Championship, the LOI First Division play-offs and the FAI Cup quarter-final between Athlone and Shelbourne. All three of those football matches kick off at 3pm.
With so much on, we've mapped out the day, in order to get a better picture of what overlaps with what. In doing this, it has allowed us to identify key times that might allow everyone some respite, and a chance to strain the spuds – both literally and figuratively.
Good news: We're currently conducting research on when you might have time to go to the toilet tomorrow.
Bad news: Our findings are not promising. pic.twitter.com/ndBixTjlhY
— Balls.ie (@ballsdotie) October 30, 2020
Meal and Toilet Times
10:45am - 12:30pm - Main Meal: This is a key period in your day. It's the period between the end of Australia vs New Zealand and the start of Sheffield United vs Man City. We suggest you act like a country person and eat your dinner in the middle of the day. That should keep you going for a long time.
3:15pm - 3:20pm - Toilet Break: There may be chance for a quick toilet break around this point. For Gaelic Games fans, the Monaghan vs Cavan match will just have finished, it'll be half time in the ladies match between Galway and Tipperary, and the camogie will be nearly over, unless there's a heap of injury time. Elsewhere, Wales v Scotland is a dead rubber, and Burnley v Chelsea will still be in the early stages, so we're putting them bottom of the list of priorities.
5:25 - 5:30pm - Toilet Break: Full time in the hurling match between Dublin vs Kilkenny, and five minutes until Liverpool vs West Ham kicks off. Now's as good a chance as any!
6:55pm - 7:15pm - Evening Meal: Lookit, we're not even going to pretend this is ideal. There are still about 45 different things going on but if you don't eat now you'll get sucked into the second half of Galway vs Wexford or Liverpool vs West Ham, and then, all of a sudden, the Ireland match will be starting.
10pm - Tentative finish: This should be the end of all the madness and we'll be celebrating Ireland winning the Six Nations. For the really committed among you, Uysk vs Chisora will be just starting, so we're all out of advice for that one. Maybe wear a nappy or something.
The Sunday Sports Schedule
Meal and Toilet Times
In many ways, Sunday is both better and worse. There's less variety in terms of the number of sports, but, then again, there's an absolute mountain of GAA and Premier League. It's actually going to be impossible to watch everything - especially when you add in the NFL to that list - so our advice would be to choose the events that are most important to you, and then plan your day accordingly.