Taking direct inspiration from Alan Partridge's desperate attempt to get back on the BBC, Balls.ie has sat down and cracked some skulls trying to come up with a list of ridiculous Irish rugby show ideas that are so patently silly, the only reason they would be commissioned, is out of morbid curiosity.
The Kearneys
Rob and Dave knock the rugby on the head and take their skills to the carnival circuit.
Joey Carvery
The Leinster fly-half takes a break from Leinster and Ireland to travel around the country looking for the best carvery in Ireland.
Bindi Aki
Bundee travels around India for six months, converting to Hinduism in the process
Quinn Roux's Name brigade
The Connacht man tracks down other people who's first name is a last name.
Toner On Toner
The Leinster forward scours Ireland looking for the best deals on ink.
"TONER ON TONER." Giant 2nd rower Devon Toner, shines light on 2nd hand toner trade in Ireland.
— daithigalway (@Daithigalway) March 5, 2018
Tommy Bo'Selecta
The Munster winger takes rigorous acting classes in order to re enact the seminal piece of early 2000s comedy.
Cian Heelies
Cian Healy attempts to play rugby in high heels, subsequently breaking his ankles.
Ski-an Heelies
Cian Healy attempts to tackle Austria's most dangerous slopes in high heels, subsequently breaking his ankles.
Flight Of The Earls
'Flight of the Earls'
Keith Earls prepares for his post playing days by getting his pilots licence.
— Kevin Massey (@Kevinfm25) March 5, 2018
The Final Furlong
All remaining Furlongs of Ireland (including Tadhg) are placed in an arena with limited weapons and resources in a Hunger Games style battle royale. The last one standing wins the freedom of Wexford.
The Sex Nations
A late night show where the leanest and meanest men in the Six Nations battle it out to see who comes out on top.
Geordie Murphy
The loose forward heads to Tyneside in order to soak in the cultural utopia that is Newcastle.
Let's Rile Nugent
A hidden camera show where members of the public play pranks on an increasingly irritable Ryle Nugent.
Ultan Towers
The Kerry forward critiques the biggest free standing structures in the world.
Crouch, Touch, Engage
A team of men must propose to their SO in a ruck, and the engagement is only valid if they cross the gain line.
Rob Herring
Under cover of night, Ulster hooker Rob Herring loots his local fishmonger.
