It's hard to believe that there are just 50 days between now and the start of the Rugby World Cup. With excitement building, here are 50 predictions of things that will 110% definitely happen before the trophy is lifted on Halloween night. You can bank on it.
1. All countries' media will convince themselves that they're about to win - especially the US Eagles.
2. "The 2007 fiasco" will be mentioned approximately 2,007 times by Ireland's players in press conferences, despite the growing Irish expectation.
3. Expectation will be killed when Ireland do badly in the the unimportant warm-up games.
4. Joe Schmidt names his final World Cup squad containing exactly no surprises.
5. Leading to Munster fans complaining that there are Leinster players involved
6. And Leinster fans outraged that there aren't more Leinster players involved.
7. Meanwhile Connacht fans are just happy that they are represented despite being the only province that has legitimate cause for complaint.
8. Which will lead to a mis-informed "Sack Joe Schmidt campaign"
9. There will be seven full news features on the state of Johnny Sexton's hamstrings, despite no injury actually being sustained.
10. The tournament actually starts and England need a last minute drop goal to beat Fiji, who scare the bejaysus out of them.
11. The English meejia don't pay attention to this scare and proclaim them the future champions of the world.
12. Despite the poor warm-ups, Ireland cut through Canada to secure the try bonus point by half time.
13. Which Neil Francis will have missed in favour of seeing the ballet in London.
14. GAA fans will be proclaiming that the only sport worth watching is in Croke Park the following Sunday never mind that strange ball.
15. Premier League fans will say it's not a real sport.
16. The newly founded All-Ireland league fan will tell people that they should support their local team.
17. Paddy Jackson's cabin fever will lead to a new level of instagram hilarity.
18. Robbie Henshaw will propel himself into the world's elite, and be photographed doing more miscellaneous things.
19. France's squad descends into mutiny after a shock opening loss to Italy.
20. Fiji and Samoa prove that the Pacific Islands teams would be amazing if they had more games and money - Fiji beat Wales and draw with Australia, Samoa qualify for quarter finals.
21. Fiji's draw with Australia will break all sorts of scoring records, and be named as the best game of the tournament.
22. After beating France, there are dodgy photoshops going around of Ireland lifting the William Webb Ellis cup
23. While France fail to get out of the pool.
24. "There won't be a cow milked in Bordeaux tonight" will be funny for 45 seconds, will annoy people for three days.
25. Concerned mothers attempt to get rugby banned after a concussion
26. "I love how rugby players respect their referee" is mentioned three times a day in bars
27. Nick Cummins is actually photographed with a one-armed brick layer from Baghdad.
28. Schlow Down Tommy t-shirts will start appearing everywhere
30. People will genuinely miss RTE's coverage - especially George Hook - when Ireland beat Argentina in the quarter finals
31. Until his column claims that Schmidt is stopping Ireland from fulfilling their potential - as they roll on to the semi finals.
32. Irish celebrity gossip sites will proclaim Amy Huberman the queen of twitter for her slagging of her husband as Ireland
34. Simon Zebo and Conor Murray get into a twitter feud
35. Fortunately it's only about embarrassing childhood pictures, Ireland laughs.
36. GAA fans will be converted to rugby fans, as Ireland prepare to face England for a place in the final
37. Enda Kenny will proclaim a national holiday when Brian O'Driscoll comes back out of retirement to beat the English
38. Mike Ross will remain as the only player to start EVERY game of the Joe Schmidt era
39. Toulon's owner is annoyed that no one is watching the Top 14 and threatens to buy everyone.
40. Meanwhile, New Zealand still haven't conceded a point in the entire tournament as they stroll into the final.
41. November 2013 is mentioned nearly 2,013 times in the lead-up to the final.
42. Words of support flood in from Colin Farrell, Sheamus, Conor McGregor, JJ Watt and Bono.
43. "It's like Italia 90 all over again"
44. Johnny Sexton will kick that penalty to go eight points clear with five points left
45. Well done you made it this far and noticed there was no 33.
46. There will be a sob story of one punter who backed Ireland to win the tournament in 2012 at stupid odds.
47. But ultimately New Zealand will become the first team to successfully defend their title because screw us apparently.
48. Paul O'Connell will actually cry
49. Joe Schmidt will be crowned as the new King of Ireland
50. There actually won't be a cow milked in Tullow in October.
