Our watch has ended. All hail Bran the Broken, ruler of the Six Kingdoms, protector of the realm and the life of parties. We are back once again to analyse the finale of the perhaps the greatest show in the history of television, it’s our Game of Thrones player ratings!
On this week's show, Mark Farrelly is joined once again by the Lady of Lofty Titles, Chloe Guildea, and the Master of Grammar, Donny Mahoney, to sift through the final ever episode of Thrones and give their verdict on not just the show but also its characters. Who performed well, who choked on the big occasion and who, ultimately, is the winner of the Game of Thrones? You can subscribe to the podcast here or by searching 'The Rewind' on all good podcast apps.
Here's a little taster of what to expect. While the guys had originally rated Tyrion's performance in the finale as a solid display, while discussing Bran, Mark came to the sudden realisation that Tyrion was a disaster:
Mark: 'The artist fomerly known as 'The Artist Formerly Known As Bran' is now 'Bran The Broken.'
Which ... Tyrion .. Actually I'm giving Tyrion a four out of 10! I can't remember what we gave him but screw that! Because he's had so many ridiculous decisions. Making Bronn the Master of Coin, we said "A return to form for Tyrion" and then he names Bronn 'Master of Coin'.
And then he came up with the nickname 'Bran the Broken.' Picking somebody's worst trait. It's like calling me 'Mark the Balding.' 'Bran the Banjaxed.'
What a ridiculous decision to come up with that. Surely 'Bran the All Seeing' or 'Bran the Knowledgeable' ... 'Bran the Broken'
I saw on some meme: 'Bran The Wheely Wheely No Legs Feely.'
Donny: I'm glad we've got to this point with Tyrion that we realise what he was doing in the end, it was actually terrible. He's just insured that this whole thing is going to be happening again and again and again.
He allows Jon Snow get sent to the wall, despite the fact he was the one who convinced him to kill Daenerys. He appointed Bronn 'Master of Coin,' even though he seemingly has no qualifications for the role other than the fact he really likes money. And he gave Bran the worst nickname in the history of the Seven Kingdoms! Oh there's also the fact BRAN SUCKS! Why suggest him as king!?
Literally everyone has a better story than Bran. What about Jon Snow AKA Aegon Targaryen, Sixth of his Name, Protector of the Realm? King of the North, Uncrowned King Beyond The Wall, Lord Commander of the Night's Watch! A man who died and came back to life. A man who fought the Wights and lived to tell the tale. But no, we'll go with Bran because he can't walk and he can see through bloody crows.