The Rewind

A Definitive Ranking Of All 89 Priests In Fr Ted

A Definitive Ranking Of All 89 Priests In Fr Ted

Craggy Island was not just a little place off the coast of Galway, it was its own world. A wonderful world created by Arthur Mathews and Graham Linehan, packed with such rich array of characters, each with their own ridiculous backstory.

We've gone digging and have totted up 89 priests who featured across the series, both in terms of those who appeared on screen and those who were alluded to but never actually featured on the show.  After crawling through the archives we've put together a ranking of every single one of those priests.

Feel free to disagree but know this: we put weeks of thought into it so for every argument you have against a placing we'll hit back with ten arguments as to why we were right!...

89. Drunk priest who blabs to Fr Unctious
88. Fr Windy Shepherd Henderson VI
87. Fr Windy Shepherd Henderson V
86. Fr Windy Shepherd Henderson IV
85. Fr Burke
84. Fr Tom Coogan
83. Fr O'Rourke
82. Fr Windy Shepherd Henderson III
81. Fr Windy Shepherd Henderson II

80. Fr Daly
79. Fr Nolan
78. Fr Mackie
77. Fr Hegarty
76. Fr Jimmy Ranable
75. Fr Sweeney
74. Fr Brian Eno
73. Fr Alan
72. Fr Clint Power

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71. Fr Jim Sutton
70. Fr Carol
69. Fr Matty Hislop
68. Fr Fitzgibbon
67. Fr Clippett
66. Fr Jim Johnson
65. Fr Jim Doogan
64. Fr Gallagher
63. Fr Leonard
62. Fr Cafferty
61. Fr Rafter
60. Fr Tiernan

59. Fr Paul Cleary
58. Fr Ken
57. Fr Rory
56. Fr Windy Shepherd Henderson I
55. Fr Nick
54. Fr Cave
53. Fr O'Shea
52. Fr Flynn
51. Fr Shaft
50. Bishop Eddie O'Neill
49. Bishop Jordan
48. Bishop Lindsay
47. Fr Williams

46. Fr Fitzgerald
45. Fr Reilly
44. Fr Deegan
43. Fr Billy
42. Fr Cleary
41. Fr Terry
40. Fr Buzz Cagney
39. Fr Niall Haverty
38. Fr Shortall
37. Fr Ned Fitzmaurice
36. Fr Walton

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35. Bishop Facks
34. The posh priest
33. Fr Benny Cake
32. Fr "Frosty" Frost
31. Fr Ben
30. Fr Harry Coyle
29. Fr Seamus Fitzpatrick
28. Fr Liam Finnegan

27. Fr Joe Briefly
26. Fr Clarke
25. Fr Derek Beeching
24. Fr Liam Deliverance
23. Fr Jessup
22. Fr Kevin
21. Bishop Tom McCaskell
20. Fr Jose Fernandez
19. Fr Romeo Sensini
18. Fr Cullen

17. Fr Fay
16. Fr Cyril MacDuff
15. Fr Billy O’Dwyer
14. Fr Todd Unctious
13. Fr Fintan Stack
12. Fr Barty Dunne
11. Fr Damo Lennon

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10. Fr Austin Purcell
9. Fr Larry Duff
8. Bishop Len Brennan
7. Fr Dick Byrne
6. Fr Jack

5. Fr Bigley

FR_BIGLEY-01

Bio

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Currently working in Athlone, he attended the same seminary as Fr Ted, where the pair used to sneak out to Dana concerts. After being ordained he befriended a priest who was sending arms to Iraq, he gave mass at OJ Simpson’s wedding and ended up in a home because he was going around starting fires.

He also has terrible blotches and ‘puffy fish lips bigger than the rest of his face.’

Best line

‘Fr Bigley listens to Dana and he’s not mad.’ ‘Why’s he in that home then?’

4. Fr Noel Furlong

FR_NOEL-01

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Bio

Headed the St Luke’s Youth Group before they left for Paraguay. Fr Noel is a congenial sort but his boundless energy can irritate some. He really likes Tony and Queen, and is also friends with a priest named Fr Sweeney who has a bladder the size of a Terry’s Chocolate Orange.

He once met Chris Evans but only briefly.

Best line

'And here's Tony's parents when they find out I've eaten Tony..'Why did you eat Tony? He was our only son!’

3. Fr Paul Stone

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FR_STONE-01

Bio

Priest/amateur artist who goes on his holidays to Craggy Island every year. A friend of Fr Doogan but he adores Fr Ted in particular. He survived a near fatal lightning strike in late 1995. His brother is a doctor, which may contribute to the tension between Fr Stone and his condescending father.

He hasn’t been talking to Fr Shortall in quite some time.

Best line

'No, I’m fine thanks.'

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2. Fr Dougal Maguire

FR_DOUGAL-01

Bio

A 25-year-old priest who ended up on Craggy Island after an incident in Blackrock which ‘irreparably damaged’ the lives of a group of nuns. Despite being a priest he doesn’t believe in an afterlife, struggles with his faith and thinks the Vatican is an art gallery.

He loves the Eurovision, rollerblading, Byker Grove, egg and may well be an AC Milan fan.

Best line

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'Ted, you're not going to believe it! Clint Eastwood's been arrested for a crime he didn't - oh, wait, it's a film.'

1. Fr Ted Crilly

FR_TED-01

Bio

Parish priest on Craggy Island after leaving his old post in Wexford due to uproar when he absconded to Las Vegas with the money raised to send a sick child to Lourdes. He has constantly claimed that the money was just resting in his account.

One time winner of the Golden Cleric. Not a racist.

Best line

'Fascists dress in black going around telling people what to do, whereas priests...'

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Mark Farrelly
Article written by
Balls Media Audience Development Manager. Former Miss World 1997 contestant.

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