• Home
  • /
  • Random
  • /
  • Where Are They Now? What Ireland's World Cup Starting XV Are Doing At The Moment

Where Are They Now? What Ireland's World Cup Starting XV Are Doing At The Moment

Where Are They Now? What Ireland's World Cup Starting XV Are Doing At The Moment
By Conor O'Leary
Share this article

With the Rugby World Cup just 50 days away, it's worth looking at where Ireland's heroes of their victorious World Cup opening game against the mighty Canada are now.

It's about time the heroes of the 2015 campaign were recognised, and it may surprise you what some of these players have gotten up to. Here is where the starting lineup from that fateful day against Canada are now:

Ireland RWC 2015: Where Are They Now?
15. Rob Kearney

Rob Kearney continues to wage war on the over-diluting of Ribena, before giving out fashion advice over how dark navy has to be before it's considered black with his brother Dave.

14. Tommy Bowe

Tommy Bowe is living in large in life, heading out on nights out with David Beckham last month. There are unconfirmed reports that Beckham woke up in a dumpster after trying to keep space with Tommy, and no one has seen the flying Ulsterman since.


Shlow Down Tommy, not everyone can keep up with ya.

13. Robbie Henshaw

Robbie Henshaw has been continuing his dominance of sport in the West of Ireland by moving into horse racing, by running  and winning the 5.30pm at the Roscommon Races last month.


Eye-witnesses report that he jumped over Alex Goode who finished fourth.

12. Gordon D'Arcy's Beard

Gordon D'Arcy's beard has been missing for the last nine months. After an intense uncover operation, we managed to find the frightened beard chained up in an abandoned golf club in Offaly under suspicious circumstances. The beard will be returned to it's home on Gordon D'Arcy's face very soon.


11. Luke Fitzgerald

After an intense search, Luke Fitzgerald was found underneath his bed after going missing for the last two years. After several long therapy sessions, it was revealed that Fitzgerald had decided to settle down with a nice movie that night before scaring himself shit-less and hiding under the bed.

10. Paddy Jackson
We checked in on Jackson only to be shocked with what we found.  Wee Paddy has been living his life with a big secret as Ireland's only sufferer of the Benjamin Button syndrome.
9. Joe Schmidt

In a strange move, Joe Schmidt named himself as the scrumhalf for the first game against Canada. Since then he decided to make a comeback in playing and become known for his perfectionism and his marathon solo training sessions. Schmidt recently took time off from his four month continuous workout to coach some very bored kids in Glenstal Abbey, Limerick on the merits of intense and repetitive detail in training. 

1. Cian Healy


Sweating bullets and definitely not wearing a garment with sleeves, Healy is currently researching the best company to have a pool installed inside his apartment.

2. Sean Cronin


Ireland's most active player has been busy. Renowned as Ireland's busiest player with an endless engine, Cronin was last seen making his fourth consecutive run across America after he started running for no apparent reason.

3. Martin Moore

Fortunately for Ireland, Martin Moore's knee injury wasn't too serious, as he was able to celebrate that fact by showing the people of New York his pole dancing tekkers on the subway:

4. Iain Henderson

Iain Henderson has also been keeping busy, conducting a thorough survery, of what happens when various things are put into a microwave to see what happens.

As of now, Curry's in Belfast has sold out of their microwave stock 342 times since Henderson began the experiment last week.

5. Paul O'Connell

Rumours that Paul O'Connell shopping for a new house in the South of France turned out to be false, as it was revealed that he was actually in Spain for Peter Stringer's wedding.

O'Connell trained shirtless in Spain to try and put the fear of God into the sun so that he could catch up with Donncha O'Callaghan's suspiciously tanned skin.

6. Sean O'Brien

When reached for comment, Sean O'Brien was unavailable given that the cows needed to be milked, sheep sheared and the silage cut. Don't you know that the summer is the busy season?

7. Jordi Murphy
Jordi Murphy's been very busy  inventing the world's first teleporter. It's the only explanation that we have for him managing to appear in every restaurant in South Dublin at the same time.
8. Jamie Heaslip


Jamie Heaslip has been moving into his new house that's shaped like a bird's nest after reading that oxygen tents work best surrounded by twigs.

Heaslip continues his quest to become the world's first bionic rugby player.

See Also: The Completely Unnecessary Over-Analysis Of Cian Healy's Neck Injury As He Returns To Training
Join The Monday Club Have a tip or something brilliant you wanted to share on? We're looking for loyal Balls readers free-to-join members club where top tipsters can win prizes and Balls merchandise

Processing your request...

You are subscribed now!

Share this article

Copyright © 2023. All rights reserved. Developed by Square1 and powered by PublisherPlus.com