As Leaving Cert students receive their college offers this morning, Balls have settled on five categories of thought that would influence a GAA person’s approach to filling out the CAO. LC 2016 hopefuls take note.
The ‘Craic Forager’
You can repeat the exams but you can’t repeat the craic. This type of college goer (or non-goer if you like) respects this philosophy to the letter of the law. They tend to give the college of choice more thought than the actual course and will be resigning themselves to a life of narrowly avoiding repeats in August from early on. Their attraction to the GAA team is motivated solely by the prospect of post-match sessions and the free gear.
Training before lectures in the morning? Would ya lie down.
Big man, weak county
We all know them. They’re the kind of fella wearing Hollister a size too small shaking hands with locals outside mass after another heroic performance for the county. It’s just a pity that the rest of the players can’t kick it out of their way leaving this lad with too much of a workload to win it on his own.
Luckily this buck can hop on the Sligo to Dublin train to find a university boasting a GAA prestige that most befits his talents. He’ll go on to play alongside players from stronger county set-ups and for four precious years, he’ll have a realistic chance of winning an All-Ireland.
Never has the need to do PE and Biology in DCU been so crucial.
The academic one who needs to be playing for a decent team
You have Science on the brain and you kept half an eye in the text books so you should be able to nail the points. You’re from Sligo and NUIG is a short bus journey away so logically that should be taking up the number one slot. But then again, UCD have a better chance of winning a Sigerson and a player of your calibre deserves to add that accolade to your U16 Connaught B medal in the cabinet.
The one with no interest in school who needs to be playing for a decent team
This is the type of person whose school books are in the worst shape by the end of the year because they lay buried in the school bag without so much as the touch of a highlighter on the pages.
But a lack of commitment to study is a small price to pay when there’s matches to be won and there’s no reason you can’t still keep up this totally unsustainable way of life when you go to college.
They decide to opt for UL and their monstrous GAA club and although they won’t be attending as a student of Physiotherapy, there’s always Forestry and Wood Technology.
The one who loses interest
They spent their teens devoutly abstaining from alcohol because the GAA was their life. The only bottles you’d see them holding were plastic ones filled with water and they signed up for GAA with All-Ireland expectations.
But then Freshers week came along and the affordable taste of Bavaria came along to corrupt their focus.
Suddenly the twice weekly pilgrimage to training became a once a week thing which gradually deteriorated into monthly visits as they joined the legion of the aforementioned craic foragers.
And when club action resumes, the idea of regaining their fitness is a summit too far thus brining their once promising GAA career to a premature end.