• Home
  • /
  • Random
  • /
  • The Multi-Meejas: Balls.ie Review Of The Weekend's Sports Media

The Multi-Meejas: Balls.ie Review Of The Weekend's Sports Media

The Multi-Meejas: Balls.ie Review Of The Weekend's Sports Media
By Gavin Cooney
Share this article

Tweet Of The Weekend

Best Instance Of BBC TV Personality Accidentally Saying Penis On Air Of The Weekend

 Best Instance Of BBC TV Personality Believing Alaska To Be A Country Of The Weekend

Alan Quinlan, Non-Sequiturs And Something Totally Unrelated

Forget the Golden Globes. Alan Quinlan reminded us of another award this week. 

It is known as the Edward Bulwer Lytton Award.


Victorian novelist Bulwer Lytton is quite harshly credited with the worst sentence in the English language: "it was a dark and stormy night". In that spirit, the organisers - San Jose State University - invite readers to create the worst fictional sentence possible. Here is the 2015 winner:

Quinlan may be in contention for the 2016 gong.


In his Irish Independent column last week, Quinlan wrote about the appointment of Andy Farrell as Ireland's new defence coach and took the quite interesting angle of our problem with him being the fact that he is from England. His introduction is, well, surprising:

Remember 'A Time To Kill'?

The closing scenes of the movie? That courtroom scene when Jake Brigance (Matthew McConaughey) is doing everything he can to get Carl Lee Hailey (Samuel L Jackson) free.
Set in America's deep south against a backdrop of racism and prejudice, Brigance appeals to the jury's emotions, asking them to shut their eyes and imagine, if they could, that Hailey - the man whose life they held in their hands - was white rather than black.
But that was fiction and this is rugby. That was America and this is Ireland. Race isn't the issue but nationalism is. Ireland have just appointed a man with impeccable standards, serious character and an impressive CV.

Quinlan couldn't have defined 'non-sequitur' better if he had written 'a conclusion or statement that does not logically follow from the previous argument and is native to the Amazon rain forest'.


The Barry Davies Award Inviting You To Look At His Face, Just Look At His Face

This Vikings fan tried to capture a jubilant crowd erupting at a dramatic moment.

He got something much better: look at the anguish in those eyes.

Modern Life Is Rubbish #1,857 ft. Manchester United


Under Louis Van Gaal, Old Trafford has shunted dreams to one side as it is now a high-art theatre, dedicated to displaying the futility of life. This line from Samuel Beckett's Waiting for Godot may as well have come from the mouth of Andy Tate.


Nothing happens. Nobody comes, nobody goes. It's awful.

The latest in a long line of absurdly boring matches was a 1-0 win against Sheffield United, coming in the middle of six additional minutes at the end of the game.

Despite the only first-half goal scored at Old Trafford since September came from Cameron Jerome, it appears United are willing to broadcast their deadening style choices on hitherto unseen scale.


United will launch a dedicated 24 hour club channel in China as Sina Sports, an online sports publication, will broadcast MUTV non-stop on their website and app from Sunday.

Further proof United are in fact a metaphor for life in the future: futile, and the reminders are bloody everywhere.

Most Versatile GIF Of The Weekend

Go on, tweet us with your most creative uses for this reaction from Jurgen Klopp, @ballsdotie. 

Sportsfile Photo Of The Weekend

All those who took a battering against Stade Francais, say eye.

The One Thing You Should Have Done This Weekend

You should have turned on the Youtube subtitles for Johnny Glynn's famous post-game interview with Joanne Cantwell.

Whomever compiles these subtitles struggled to grasp Glynn's accent. For example, "it's fuckin' bullshit as you saw yourselves, sorry" is transcribed as "her boots or promotion is your sons so sorry".

Click the "CC" button in the right corner of the video below.

Join The Monday Club Have a tip or something brilliant you wanted to share on? We're looking for loyal Balls readers free-to-join members club where top tipsters can win prizes and Balls merchandise

Processing your request...

You are subscribed now!

Share this article

Copyright © 2023. All rights reserved. Developed by Square1 and powered by PublisherPlus.com