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26 Guides You Won't Find In Our Book 'The Balls.ie Guide To Life'

26 Guides You Won't Find In Our Book 'The Balls.ie Guide To Life'
By Mark Farrelly Updated

As you should hopefully know by now, we have released our first book. Yes, a real life book! It's called 'The Balls.ie Guide to Life' and is available online and in all good bookstores.

'But what is this book about?' I hear you ask.

Well I'd rather keep it a bit of a surprise. Along with loads of testing content like word searches and crosswords, our book contains various guides that will help you through your sporting life and life in general.

However, after many late nights spent furiously arguing with our editors, some of our chapters had to be cut from the publication. Here are a list of guides you will no longer find The Balls.ie Guide to Life.

How to trick your parents into thinking you've gone to mass, how to start a fire in a desert, how to start a fire with a dessert, how to get the the little circles in a potato masher cleaned, how to make an omelette, how to grow a gingerless beard, how to do your taxes, how to avoid paying your taxes, how to make friends and influence people, how to get the shift, who to shift gears in a 35, how to take the cab off your tractor, how to know when the weather has moved from 'mild' to 'warm'....

How to murder people who use glitter, how to sneeze with your eyes open, how to drive a forklift, how to get the person in the deli to evenly spread the butter on your roll, how to clean your nose in a public area, how to skip ads on the RTE player, how to catch wasps using only a empty jam jar and water, how to pass the leaving cert. how to attach L plates to car and still look like a cool bastard, how to get to Carnegie Hall, how to become a member of a boyband, how to properly iron the sleeves of a shirt.

And finally, how to find teams hiding in the long grass.

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Fear not though. We address plenty of other topics that can help you in your daily life. From a guide to streaking at sporting events to a ranking of every priest to ever be mentioned on Fr Ted, The Balls.ie Guide to Life is the ideal Christmas present for that person who you always struggle to buy for.

Also read: The Amazing Technicolour Cult Of The Irish Training Piggy Back

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