7 Players Whose Chant Is Better Than They Are

Maurice Brosnan
By Maurice Brosnan
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2016 saw a welcomed revival of 'Freed from Desire' by Italian singer Gala as the adapted tune was the backing track for the ridiculously catchy chant 'Will Griggs on fire.' It was sung across French stadiums during the Euros and on every dance floor where a DJ was brave enough to play the original since then.

Will Griggs failed to make an appearance during the tournament, but the chant will live on forever. In the same vein as the 'Kolo, Kolo, Kolo, Kolo, Kolo, Kolo, Kolo Toure' sometimes the chant just outstrips the player.

That's not to say the player is necessarily bad, but the chant is exceedingly good. The Totally Football show once eluded to it as a secret pleasure within the game. Here are some underappreciated examples of this very phenomenon. A clever chant is a joy to behold, never more so than when it celebrates assertive mediocrity.

Djimi Traore

The much-maligned Liverpool defender was a frequently mocked figure despite leaving the club with a Champions League winners medal. His chant, to the tune of The Jacksons, Blame It On The Boogie and sometimes including his team-mates, summarised many Liverpool fans feelings towards the Malian international.

Don't blame it on the sunshine, 
Don't blame it on the moonlight, 
Don't blame it on good times, 
Blame it on Traore. 

He just can’t, he just can’t, he just can’t control his feet...

Update: Liverpool fans popularised a better, squad focused version:

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Don't blame it on the Biscan,
Don't blame it on the Hamann,
Don't blame it on the Finnan,
Blame it on Traore.

Owen Hargreaves

Injuries ensured he never enjoyed as successful a career with Manchester United as he should have, but there'll always be this absolutely outstanding chant to the tune of Can't Take My Eyes off You by Frankie Valli and The 4 Seasons.

Ohhhhhh Owen Hargreaves,
You are the love of my life
Oh Owen Hargreaves
I'd let you shag my wife
Oh Owen Hargreaves
I want curly hair too

David Healy

He never managed to have quite the impact at club level, but Healy was a quality striker at international level particularly given the standard of many of the teams he played in. However, his chant is too good not to include.

Away in a manger
No room for a bed
The little lord Jesus
Lay down his sweet head
The stars in the bright sky,
Looked down where... Healy! Healy! Healy!

Warren Feeney

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Another former Northern Ireland international footballer to make the list. He enjoyed a remarkably prolonged career and is now managing Crawley Town. Also responsible for this gem.

We love our Itsy Bitsy,
Teeny Weeny,
Baldy Headed,
Warren Feeney,
Plays in Dundee and he can't score a goal!

Arthur Musuaku

David Moyes resurgence at West Ham continues, with the latest benefactor being Arthur Masuaku. His chant is astonishingly catchy too.

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oh a oh Arthur Masuaku
Oh a oh he’s better then Lukaku  
Oh a oh he never gives a ball away

The only issue is, when he plays he seems to give the ball away all the time.

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Bobby Zamora

A chant that followed the trajectory of his career.

At Brighton:

When the ball hits the goal, its not Shearer or Cole, its Zamora! 

At Fulham:

When the ball hits your head and you're sat in row Z, its Zamora!

Emile Heskey 

A classic. Heskey made the most of his career given his ability, a fact that fans seemed to appreciate during his spell at Aston Villa:

There's only one Emile Heskey, Only one Emile Heskey, He used to be s*ite, But now he's alright, Walking in a Heskey wonderland... 

Let us know if there are any we left out!

SEE ALSO: The Greatest Sports Theme Tune Bracket – The Grand Final

 

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