We'd love to be able to get excited about today's transfer rumours, we truly would. Instead, the new rumours that have been thrust upon us in the past 24 hours have been the very definition of 'meh'. However, we are duty-bound to deliver you the most pertinent rumours around, so we shall continue unabated.
Welcome to the Balls Bullshit-O-Meter. It measures the validity of a transfer rumour with its scientifically approved formula of measuring the smell of the bullshit emanating from the morning reports. '1' is a fresh meadow with '10' setting off nuclear toxicity alarms throughout the land.
Lewis Dunk (Brighton to Leicester City)
Following Manchester United bidding mad money for Harry Maguire, Brendan Rodgers has been eyeing up potential replacements. One such fella is Lewis Dunk, with The Sun reporting that Brighton have slapped a £40m price tag on their captain.
Brighton have already signed Matt Clarke from Portsmouth, with new manager Graham Potter backing the 22-year-old to disrupt Brighton's centre-back pairing of Dunk and Shane Duffy. This rumour begs the question, if Lewis Dunk is worth £40m, then how much is Shane Duffy worth?
Jack Stacey (Luton Town to Celtic)
Following Mikael Lustig's departure, Celtic are desperate to bring in a new right-back. Jack Stacey of Luton Town is on Neil Lennon's radar, however, the Mail is reporting that Bournemouth have shown interest in the 23-year-old.
Stacey's contract expires next summer, so he may be considerably cheaper than his fellow full-back James Justin, who joined Leicester from Luton for £6m.
Roberto Martinez (Belgian national team to Newcastle United)
The Sun are reporting that Newcastle have made an approach for Roberto Martinez. Currently managing the Belgian national side, Martinez has not hidden his desire to return to managing in the Premier League.
The Spaniard's contract runs until the end of EURO 2020, and he has made it clear that he would stay with the team until then. However, according to reports, the Belgian FA "fears the worst".
Ayoze Perez (Newcastle United to Leicester City)
Nevertheless, Newcastle could have a lot of money freed up for Martinez's compensation. The Newcastle Chronicle have reported that the Magpies have accepted a £30m bid from Leicester for Ayoze Perez.
Perez scored 12 goals in the Premier League last season, all of which we seemed to have missed. If Martinez does take over at St James's Park, he'll have to contend without Newcastle's top two goal-scorers from last season, as Salomon Rondon doesn't look like returning.
Nacho Monreal (Arsenal to Real Sociedad)
One of Arsenal's most consistent performers over the last number of years could be leaving the Emirates. Spanish left-back Nacho Monreal could be on his way to Real Sociedad, as there's confusion regarding his contract situation. The Sun reports that Monreal's contract should have expired on July 1, but no announcement was made.
Other journalists have claimed that Arsenal and Monreal mutually terminated the remainder of his contract. Either way, with rumours of Kieran Tierney coming to the club, if Monreal stays, he'll find consistent game-time hard to come by.