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The Arsenal FC Guide To Launching A Pathetic Protest Against Your Current Manager

The Arsenal FC Guide To Launching A Pathetic Protest Against Your Current Manager
By Gavin Cooney

Today, Arsenal FC faced a largely meaningless game against Norwich City. Arsenal will finish in the Premier League top four for the twentieth consecutive season, and fail to win the Premier League title for the twelfth season in a row, whilst enjoying a sustained period of financial stability. This is, of course, quite boring, compared to Leicester City - who are going to win the league - or a number of the other clubs in the division who get to fire their managers for a bit of excitement. Therefore, with some supporters as disenchanted as they have ever been, they decided to organise an official protest in the twelfth and seventy-eight minutes of this evening's game.

This post does not disagree with the supporter's right to protest: it is their club, they are entitled to do what they wish, and mass protest can be good. This post does, however, think that today's protest was just a bit crap. If you are in a supporter group and considering launching a protest against your current manager, then read  on and avoid doing anything mentioned below.

Subject your greatest ever manager to an abhorrent chant

Way to not engender support for your cause:

Ensure your mass protest does not have mass appeal

The official support calling for change failed to enjoy widespread support. In the end, all it did was trigger an element in the crowd in support of Wenger:

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Launch the protest using a vapid and meaningless political slogan 

C'mon, Arsenal fans. Surely you could come up with something more catchy than 'Time For Change', a slogan so incredibly vague that political parties would love it:

Make sure to argue a nuanced view

Don't forget to read the small print, folks.

When protesting, do not use banners that exceed A3 size 

Be mysterious

Don't be overly concerned with clarity.

Do not be dissuaded by poor level of popular support

We will have our revenge, in this life or the next.

After the failure of one protest, schedule another protest later in the same game

Seems like a mistake, that.

Bonus Everton contribution

Everton also staged a protest against the continued employment of Roberto Martinez by hiring a plane to fly a protest banner over the ground. Please, make this stop. Just because you can afford to hire a plane, that does not mean that your opinion is any more worthy.

To watch your club's fan-base tear itself apart in anger at a legendary manager is undoubtedly a horrible experience for Arsenal fans, as it is for Wenger himself. But if you are going to protest, you can surely make a better fist of it than this.

See Also: Paddy Jackson Has Some Heart-Breaking News For His 44,000 Instagram Followers

See Also: Opinion: Why It Is Time For Everyone To Leave Michael Owen Alone

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