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The Newest Adidas Boots Are Basically Hi-Tech Pornography

Gavin Cooney
By Gavin Cooney
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Having to stop and tie your laces in the middle of a sporting event is something that always annoyed me. Why must those blasted things always become undone. I blamed my parents, they should have showed me how to tie my laces better. But now I don't need to have so much resentment, because Adidas have a solution.

The sporting giant have introduced their new, laceless football boots: the Ace 16+ PureControl:

Damn, that's boot porn at it's finest. The idea behind the boots is that aside from the annoyance of having to tie laces, players like Mesut Ozil should have even more control and touch. That's a scary prospect in itself.

The inspiration behind the new boots? Take a look at your smartphone case. Rather than use laces to tighten the boot across your foot, the product uses something fancily called a Thermoplastic Polyurethane (TPU) to keep itself fixed.


TPU is a combination of silicon and rubber, and is more recognisable when wrapped around an iPhone:

The boots will be worn by Mesut Ozil and Barcelona's Ivan Rakitic.


We look forward to a day when commentators have to describe a volley as coming not off the laces, but off the  Thermoplastic Polyurethane.

See Also: Diouf, Richie Partridge And The Slip: A 22-Year-Old Liverpool Fan Laments His Fate

See Also: A Tribute To The Adidas F50 - Say Goodbye To The Lesser Loved Adidas Masterstroke



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