GAA

18 GAA Players Who Sound Like Porn Stars

18 GAA Players Who Sound Like Porn Stars

TJ Reid

Sounds like she is...

A blonde bombshell who was at her most popular around the turn of the millennium. She'd have at least claimed to have had an affair with Donald Trump.

Is actually...

A hurler who's so busy eating steak and perfecting the game that he doesn't know porn exists.

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Blue Panther O'Toole

Sounds like she...

Could tempt you with just one look.

Is actually...

A Dublin player with the stamina to keep going for a decade and half  to win four All Irelands.

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Babs Keating

Sounds like she...

Was a big busted woman from the 1970s.

Is actually...

A big busted man from the 1970s.

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Gooch Cooper

Sounds like she is...

An American temptress who has just caught her son's friend wandering around the house.

Is actually...

A player who's so good at football he could actually be x-rated.

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Dessie Mone

Sounds like she is...

A pornstar who's very innuendo driven in order to hide her lack of acting skills.

Is actually...

A tireless corner back who'd go all day and all night.

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Mickey Burke

Sounds like she is...

A phenomenon of the early 2000s who is a bundle of energy.

Is actually...

A phenomenon of Longwood who is a bundle of energy.

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Nicky English

Sounds like she is...

Mickey Burke's production partner.

Is actually...

A mainstay of Sky Sports' GAA production.

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Ja Fallon

Sounds like she is...

A dominatrix whose full name is Jasmine.

Is actually...

A dominator of centre backs whose full name is Jarlath.

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Cha Fitzpatrick

Sounds like she is...

The token redhead.

Is actually...

The token redhead.

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Nudie Hughes

Sounds like she is...

A woman who has a way with words and is a fan of getting over-excited in public.

Is actually...

A Monaghan man who has a way with words and is a fan of getting over-excited while commentating on Northern Sound.

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Tony Rainbow

Sounds like he is...

The male actor who you worryingly begin to recognise.

Is actually...

A Lilywhite with a bit more time on his hands for acting now. (Not that kind though.)

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Ogie Moran

Sounds like she is...

A real handful who is always in control.

Is actually...

A real handful who was always in control at centre forward.

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Star Donaghy

Sounds like she is...

An older woman with a penchant for playing the part of a teacher.

Is actually...

A man with soft hands who knows when to lay it off.

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Charlie Redmond

Sounds like she is...

Another star of the 1980s.

Is actually...

Another star of the 1990s.

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Fingers O'Connell

Sounds like she is...

A magician in bed, with all the swagger of one too.

Is actually...

A magician at wing forward for Clare, with all the swagger of one too.

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Christy Ring

Sounds like she is...

The greatest of them all.

Is actually...

The greatest of them all.

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Dean Rock

Sounds like he is...

A talisman male star who directors can always rely on

Is actually...

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A talisman free-taker who managers can always rely on

Jamie Barron

Sounds like she is...

A washed up star still terrorising young men

Is actually...

A current star still terrorising defenders

Any more suggestions? Let's hear them!

Mark Farrelly
Article written by
Balls Media Audience Development Manager. Former Miss World 1997 contestant.

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