Conor McGregor: the ultimate hero.
If you are still with us and haven't clicked away to read about a true Irish hero, like Christy Ring, Cu Chulainn or the man who saluted during the Ireland-Germany match, we are going to justify McGregor's heroism here.
Such was the furore over McGregor's erroneous claim that he was the first Irishman to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated, we forgot to actually read the article which the cover advertised. As it transpires, the introduction to the article is staggeringly bad, and it was good of McGregor to distract from the article itself with his wildly inaccurate claim about the cover.
In the case the receptionist was, in fact, Scottish, Balls.ie have contacted SBG to ascertain whether or not any of the receptionists are Scottish and we are awaiting a return comment.
Otherwise, we assume the introduction is trying to come to terms with the Dublin dialect.
who's on the welcome desk at straight blast gym, groundskeeper willie? pic.twitter.com/mkfYtYmbfT
— Ken Early (@kenearlys) February 25, 2016
We assume the author of the piece - a senior staffer at SI named Jon Wertheim -is trying to give the reader a vivid and evocative image of the Dublin dialect to best summon up an image of McGregor in his heartland.
Sadly, it has proven to be misguided.
Given that Sports Illustrated is one of the biggest sports magazines in the world, and that Wertheim is one of their highest-profile writers, why would they introduce a piece like this? Here are a few suggestions...
To prove Conor McGregor is, in fact, Scottish
As Ken Early points out, the introduction sounds as if it was spoken in a Scottish accent. This may be a subtle undermining of the fact that McGregor claims he was Irish when, in fact, McGregor is a Scottish name. 'McGregor' is an Anglicised version of the old Scottish Gaelic name MacGriogair. .
An Anglicised version of a Scottish name certainly subverts McGregor's usual casting-off-the-chains-of-imperial-oppression-by-displaying-innate-warrior-tendencies-by-wrestling-a-man-in-an-octagon-while-wearing-very-small-shorts shtick.
Sometimes, ridicule is the only honourable weapon we have left.
To win an award
The award in question is the Edward Bulwer-Lytton award.
Victorian novelist Bulwer-Lytton is quite harshly credited with the worst sentence in the English language: "it was a dark and stormy night". In that spirit, the organisers - San Jose State University - invite readers to create the worst fictional sentence possible. Here is the 2015 winner:
Another gong for the people at Sports Illustrated awaits.
To continue trolling the Irish people with poor adaptations of our accent
They have form here before. See the caption on this cover featuring Eamonn Coghlan:
@TheNotoriousMMA @Ian_madigan @EamonnCoghlan1 unfortunately you're not the first Irishman!! Eamonn got there first pic.twitter.com/uivIVHXI6Z
— Vinny Mulvey (@vinnymulvey) February 24, 2016
Aside from that, the article also features a 12 minute documentary on "Cooner" which you can watch below or over on Sports Illustrated.
