Historic may not be the first word people use to describe WWE TLC in years to come. “Which show was that?” would probably be a more fitting legacy, as despite the hype machine going into overload the night turned out to be somewhat of a damp squib.
It appeared we were off to a flyer with the on-screen return of Vince McMahon, but aside from shaking hands with both participants in the Champion vs Champion match and appearing in the ring with them afterwards, his was a low key night. CM Punk recorded an unlikely victory against The Shield after an eye injury to Roman Reigns saw him take out his own team-mate. Daniel Bryan wasn’t so unfortunate in his ventures against The Wyatt Family, falling victim to a Sister Abigail from Bray Wyatt. Big E Langston and Cody Rhodes and Goldust retained their Intercontinental and Tag-Team Championships, while Kofi Kingston and R-Truth emerged victorious in unannounced matches against The Miz and Brodus Clay respectively.
Then, in the main event, Randy Orton crowned himself the WWE World Heavyweight Champion after handcuffing John Cena to the ring ropes then, when Cena managed to unhook the entire bottom rope and ascend the ladder, used the ropes against him in a slightly botched spot that sent Cena face first into a table you imagine he was supposed to break. Either way, it was enough to seal victory as Orton unified the belts.
Here was the best of the night’s action, according to Twitter.
The Jeritroll was in full force before the PPV began...
TONIGHT! @JohnCena or @RandyOrton will become only the second UNIFIED CHAMPION in @WWE history! Ill be watching VERY closely... #WWETLC
— Chris Jericho (@IAmJericho) December 15, 2013
Is this the creepiest visual of Vince McMahon ever seen (and yes I'm taking this into account)?
.@VinceMcMahon here to witness history #WWETLC #WWEWorldHeavyweightChampion @WWE @WWEUniverse pic.twitter.com/lZc6swX5RU — Stephanie McMahon (@StephMcMahon) December 16, 2013
Table breaks = 1 drink Hit with a chair = one Fall off ladder = one Spot where both fall off ladder through 4 tables = all the beer #WWETLC — Domhnall Marnell (@LandfillKennedy) December 16, 2013
Have you heard about AJ's backstage rant at Michelle Beadle?
It's three on one, unless one of the members of The Shield are being too friendly towards @CMPunk because then @WWEAJLee will attack #WWETLC — WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) December 16, 2013
You laughed, don't lie...
Knock knock. Who's there? Roman Reigns. Roman Reigns who? Roman Reigns are why many Italians carry umbrellas. — Kayfabe News (@KayfabeNews) December 16, 2013
I heard if you pushed a button at the back of the original belt, it spat water...
Breaking: The final look of the merged WWE title belt pic.twitter.com/4nXy7Abatr — Not Regal (@RegalSays) December 16, 2013
We'd all do the exact same thing, right?
AJ and Tamina being interviewed by Renee Young. Easiest game of Fuck, Marry, Kill ever. #WWETLC — Rick Nash (@AMTRick) December 16, 2013
Jake The Snake giving real-time analysis of matches...reason no 34582 to love Twitter
Very good Women s match. AJ making it believable she could beat Nattie then keeps her persona. Strong character. #WWETLC — JakeSnakeDDT (@JakeSnakeDDT) December 16, 2013
Hmm, I think this would only be a letdown if they were honest...
I'd watch a DVD of just World Champions talking about how many drugs they took/women they fucked on the day they won the title. — MaffewOfBotchamania (@Maffewgregg) December 16, 2013
Not to mention it's an elimination match...and last month's PPV was all about eliminations!
4 way tag team match at TLC - not TLC match #scumbagwwe #WWETLC — Wrestling Memes (@Wrestling_Memes) December 16, 2013
Side effects of Rybaxel includes drowsiness. #WWETLC — Arda Ocal (@arda_ocal) December 16, 2013
He may as well at this stage...
Wouldn't it be great if Big show went "Shhhhh", sat down, pulled a book of Keats' poetry and read aloud — Brendon Burns (@brendonburns) December 16, 2013
I loaned my friend my Funkadactyls this one time and he turned up dead in Honolulu...
The moral of the story is, much like money, never loan a friend your Funkadactyls. @XavierWoodsPhD @WWETensai @BrodusClay #WWETLC — Corey Graves (@WWEGraves) December 16, 2013
Women just give me disappointed looks...
Man I wish I had pyro when I take my pants off... #wwetlc — Kat Mugot ? (@KatSydal) December 16, 2013
This was CM Punk's inspiration for his pipe bomb and it still hasn't come to pass...
Fun fact: Miz has main evented Mania and CM Punk has not. #wwetlc — The Dusty Finish (@DustyFinishPod) December 16, 2013
Have to love how the entire Internet jumped simultaneously to Lawler when the "That was creepy" chants started during Bray Wyatt's crab walk...
Crowd chants ''That was creepy'' as the Titantron accidentally shows what site Lawler is browsing. — MaffewOfBotchamania (@Maffewgregg) December 16, 2013
This doesn't help wrestling fans' image...
Trending Worldwide for #WWETLC: #ThatWasCreepy — WWE (@WWE) December 16, 2013
So Bray Wyatt got probably the biggest endorsement of his career...
Just changed my mind. @WWEBrayWyatt is not good. Kid is outstanding. #WWETLC — JakeSnakeDDT (@JakeSnakeDDT) December 16, 2013
Everyone jumped on Mick Foley when he called Bray Wyatt, Way Bryatt after their match, including his daughter (who, by the way, has grown up since being the cute kid who said nipple in Beyond The Mat)...
— Noelle Foley (@NoelleFoley) December 16, 2013
You laugh, but this stipulation is probably on its way...
According to @MichaelCole, all they have to do is climb the ladder, pull down the titles, download the WWE App and they win #WWETLC
— WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) December 16, 2013
Cheaper manufacturing costs I'd imagine...
Why don't they ever make Spanish announce tables the way they make American announce tables? #WWETLC
— Holly Jones (@HollybJollie) December 16, 2013
BY GAWD THEY'VE...MILDLY INCONVENIENCED HIM!
NOT A MICROPHONE! WITH SPONGE AROUND IT! #WWETLC
— PROGRESS Wrestling (@ThisIs_Progress) December 16, 2013
This ended up happening as the PPV went off the air. He failed...
It’s not over yet: in a dramatic twist, Vince is going to come out now and ask Randy to piss into a cup. #WWETLC
— Rick Nash (@AMTRick) December 16, 2013
WWE TLC Quick Results
Handicap Match: CM PUNK over THE SHIELD by pinfall
Divas Champion, AJ LEE over NATALYA by pinfall
Intercontinental Champion, BIG E LANGSTON over DAMIEN SANDOW by pinfall
Tag-Team Champions, CODY RHODES & GOLDUST over BIG SHOW & REY MYSTERIO, THE REAL AMERICANS & RYBACK & CURTIS AXEL by pinfall
R-TRUTH over BRODUS CLAY by pinfall
No DQ: KOFI KINGSTON over THE MIZ
Handicap Match: THE WYATT FAMILY over DANIEL BRYAN
TLC Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: RANDY ORTON over JOHN CENA
Rick Nash is a former professional wrestler who currently runs WWE Parties Ireland (hosting large scale events for big WWE pay-per views in Dublin). He's also a DJ and terrible sports gambler, so feel free to share any WWE thoughts or sports tips with him on Twitter.