Deep down, Gordon D'Arcy knew that he was never going to leave Leinster.
The thought of it gave him an ill feeling in his stomach.
Speaking to Joe Molloy on Off the Ball on Tuesday, D'Arcy told of an offer from Toulouse back in 2006 and the subsequent inner ordeal which the possibility of having to play rugby outside of Ireland put him through.
His reason for staying went back to early in his Leinster playing days and the moment when he resolved that he was going to take rugby seriously as a career.
Making a semi-pact with himself, he decided it was his ultimate ambition to stay with the province for the entirety of his rugby career.
The rationale - his time in rugby would have more meaning.
It would have taken a massive deal to get me to move out of Leinster. I nearly had one with Toulouse but I had that horrible feeling in my stomach that I did not want to go.
One thing that I've tried to never get into in my career is that thing of 'oh they're giving me this, I need a little bit more'. Fintan [Drury], he was amazing the whole way through. That was the only one time that it happened. He just said 'listen, they're matching. I think you should stay.' And I was like, 'thank god'.
That would have been 2006.
It wasn't right. I knew it wasn't right. I probably knew in the back of my head and it was such a horrible feeling in my stomach that I probably wouldn't have done it.
When I became a professional, Shane Byrne said it to me. He gave me a bit of sound advice once, he said that being a professional is about more than getting paid.
Around 20 or 21, when I said that I'd like to make a real go of this [playing rugby]. It wasn't a covenant or anything, but I said that I'd love to play for Leinster forever. In the back of my head I wanted to be as good as I can be but to do it here. It means more to me here.
You can listen to the full interview below.
Picture credit: Ramsey Cardy / SPORTSFILE