The Rewind

Best Of The Jest: Our 6 Favourite Jokes This Week

Best Of The Jest: Our 6 Favourite Jokes This Week

Last week we posted some of the best jokes we'd heard recently and we put the call out to send us in some more. You responded in your droves with plenty of quality submissions. So this week we've picked out four of our favourites and also two others we spotted on the internet. 

Hope they give you a laugh and keep sending them in by each filling out the form at the bottom of this article or messaging us on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.

A married man goes into a confessional and says to his priest...

"I had an affair with a woman... almost."

The priest says, "What do you mean, almost?"

The man says, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."

The priest says, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say 5 Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box."

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The man leaves the confessional, says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box.

He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly runs over to him saying, "I saw that, you didn't put any money in the poor box!"

The man replies, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and apparently that's the same as putting it in."

Hat-tip: Reddit/r/Jokes

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Yesterday one of my good friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space...

It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.

Hat-tip: @DadSaysJokes

Sergeant: "Private O'Brien, I didn't see you at camouflage training last night."

Private O'Brien: "Thank you, Sir.

Sent to us by: Anonymous

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Did you hear about the short-sighted Circumciser?

He got the sack.

Sent to us by John Dunne

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A drummer's wife had twins...

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They named them Anna One & Anna Two.

Sent to us by: Anonymous

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My wife told me that she's sick of me pretending that I'm a detective and we should split up....

I responded: 'Great idea, that way we can cover more ground!'

Sent to us by: Seamus Connolly



Read last week's jokes here

Mark Farrelly
Article written by
Balls Media Audience Development Manager. Former Miss World 1997 contestant.

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