The Rewind

The Definitive Ranking: Deli Items Ranked From Best To Worst

The Definitive Ranking: Deli Items Ranked From Best To Worst

The nation is waking up hungover this Sunday.

With Saturday being labeled as 'freedom day' a lot of us spent the night enjoying pubs opened past 8pm or having a few drinks at home.

If you woke up with a cotton mouth, a banging headache, or a pain in your stomach - don't even think of going to a doctor. The deli is your hospital today.

We've taken a look at some of the most widely ordered deli items and ranked them from best to worst.

The Best - A Top Five 

Deli

1) Chicken Fillet 

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There can only be one. The nation's love affair with the chicken fillet role is stronger than ever. Our love for chicken rolls knows no bounds. Whether it's plain or spicy, mayo or butter, we'll always have a smile on our faces tucking into a chicken fillet roll.

2) Jambon

Some might say controversial. Placing the ham/cheese combination pastry ahead of the beloved sausage roll is a risk. But jambon's are fairly consistent, it's rare you'll find a bad jambon and consistency is all we need when we're hungover.

3) Sausage Roll

Placed at number three for the different varieties. You have the long sausage roll, the short sausage roll, and then the crisscross hot dog-like sausage roll which devalues the overall brand. Six of the small ones are when they're at their best.

4) Sausages

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If you're akin to sausages in a roll, a sausage sandwich, or a sausage bap. We never really ask what's in a sausage and they never ask us anything back. This anonymous relationship builds trust and value on hangover days to go for them.

5) Chicken Drumsticks

Not seen in every deli - the humble breaded chicken drumstick or wing always seems to hit the spot. Not up to the standard of a Colonel Sanders recipe, it still gives us what we love the most. Lots of protein and lots of carbs.

Deli

The Worst - A Bottom Five

5) Wedges

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Very hit or miss these. Often a fine line between being caked into each other and hard as a rock, or dripping in wedge grease and slipping through your hands. Not bad in a roll in any form, but not the pick of the bunch.

4) Chicken Wings

This might be controversial as it's a popular choice with some. When you order chicken wings, in general, you expect succulent meat and a good amount of sauce. What you get in a deli is a few strings of meat and a sauce that dried up yesterday.

3) Pudding

Black or white - the pudding is usually just there for the breakfast roll orders. Never a standalone deli item, oftentimes you'll go without a pudding and still be able to pull off a decent breakfast roll. Speaks for itself.

2) The Pie/Pasty no one knows

There's always a pie or pasty sitting in tin foil or a cardboard sleeve and it's staring back at you. What are you looking at? What's your problem? Sure I've never met you before. You then avoid eye contact and never mention it again.

1) Eggs of any form

What came first? The deli or the egg? The deli of course. Eggs need to know their place, and they're most certainly not at a deli counter. I've even seen omelets as an option in some establishments. This should be a direct report to the Food Safety Authority.

See Also: Quiz: From Which Irish County Did This Company/Product Originate?

Jonathan Byrne

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