The Rewind

Player Ratings: Average Joes Shock The World In DodgeBall Championship Game

Player Ratings: Average Joes Shock The World In DodgeBall Championship Game

This week marks the 15th anniversary of one of the most famous upsets in the history of sport, one that brought the world to a halt in disbelief. We are of course talking about Average Joes' victory over the Globo Gym Purple Cobras in the championship game of the dodgeball championships in Las Vegas.

They were a team who were not even meant to be in the tournament, and only qualified by default after a member of Girl Scout troop 417 was found to be using beaver tranquillizers.

Led by legend of the sport Patches O'Hoolahan, they would embark on the most unlikely of cinderella runs. While Patches would perish just before the final, his spirit was with them as they defeated arch rivals Globo Gym in the most dramatic of circumstances.

For those of you who need a reminder, here's how that one went.

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Dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge! Spine tingling stuff.

In remembrance of that famous day, we have rated the performance of each player out of 10. Here's what we thought of them.

Globo Gym Purple Cobras

Blade - 4

Largely anonymous for the early periods (and much of the movie itself), the match turned on a mistake from Blade. With his team having a four-on-one advantage, it was he who throw the loose ball to Justin, which ultimately flipped the match on its head.

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White Goodman (c) - 2

The charismatic leader of the the Glob Gym juggernaut, Goodman put in a performance that was largely devoid of any real substance. He was saved by his fitness consigliere Me'Shell early on, before Lazer was forced to rescue him from elimination a few moments later.

He did manage a couple of cheap shots, but he absolutely botched a wide open shot to win the title when he stepped over the line. Lost to a blindfolded man in sudden death.

Lazer - 6

The best of the azers, Lazer showed a real team ethic by taking two balls to the abdomen to save his boss from elimination. Did not do a whole lot going forward, but was solid in defence.

Fran Stalinovskovichdaviddivichski - 1

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A five-time national champion in Romanovia, Stalinovskovichdaviddivichski was supposed to be Globo Gym's secret weapon. She was the ultimate ringer, a mercenary brought in to ensure victory over Average Joes.

Instead she would fall into the arms of rival Owen Dittman, being eliminated in embarrassing fashion.

Me'Shell Jones - 7

The ying to White Goodman's yang, Me'Shell helped mould the gym tycoon into the egomaniac he would become.

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He showed unbelievable athleticism to stop Goodman being eliminated right out of the gate. Did take one straight to the dome a few moments later.

Blazer - 5

The lesser of the azers, Blazer was a non-factor.

Average Joes

Katherine Veatch - 8

Was originally put out early on, but came back with a bang to turn the contest in Average Joes' favour.

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She showed fantastic reactions to catch an awkward throw straight after he reintroduction, and showed amazing selflessness to sacrifice herself for Peter in the dying moments.

Justin Redman - 9

Cometh the hour, cometh the man. The championship game was looking like a lost cause, with Justin facing four hungry cobras in a four-on-one mismatch.

His reactions were outstanding, and his catch from a tame Blade throw was the game changer. Did bottle it in the end by expressing his love for his high school crush in the middle of the game.

Gordon Pibb - 5

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"You've got to get mad, you've got to get angry!"

Those were the words of Patches O'Hoolahan to Gordon in the semi final, when his fit of rage driven by his mail order bride's unfaithfulness would see the team through to the decider.

Unfortunately he was not able to heed the advice of his recently crushed coach in the final, where he put in a timid showing that was more consistent with his character as a whole.

Peter LaFleur (c) - 5

The supposed catalyst for his team, LaFleur's decision making was questionable throughout this one. He was poor from the start, being sent to the line early on.

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When he came back on, Katherine had to take a shot to just keep him in the game. Showed an astounding lack of composure in the final moments of normal time, only for Goodman's carelessness to give him a second opportunity.

Made up for it somewhat with his blindfolded showing in sudden death, but you get the feeling that was down to luck more than anything else.

Steve 'the Pirate' Cowan - N/A

Unfortunately we did not see Steve the Pirate's swashbuckling methods in the final, when he decided just before the match that the pirate's life was not in fact the life for him.

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Showed up when the game was won, with the sight of a chest full of booty enough to return him to the seven seas.

Owen Dittman - 4

Did the exact same thing as Stalinovskovichdaviddivichski, but he was shite so we're not going to be as harsh.

Dwight Baumgarten - 6

Started very strongly, jumping over Me'Shell's throw and nailing him in the top of the head.

He would then go on to commit the cardinal sin of dodgeball, turning his back to the play and getting nailed right on the arse. Should have done better.

SEE ALSO: Two Minute Review: Murder Mystery

Gary Connaughton

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