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10 Bemusing Footballer Names We Would Pay Good Money To Hear Brian Kerr Pronounce

10 Bemusing Footballer Names We Would Pay Good Money To Hear Brian Kerr Pronounce
By Mikey Traynor
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Brian Kerr is probably the most knowledgeable football expert that regularly appears as a pundit on Irish TV, as his knowledge of the sport combined with his constant monitoring of Europe's top leagues mean that he has an opinion on nearly every player in the top leagues across Europe.

He also has maybe the thickest Dublin brogue you'll ever hear on a public broadcast, and he often struggles with players' names, an example of which we found in this attempt to say Sergio Busquets:


We share the opinion of Damien Duff that it is mind boggling as to why Kerr is no longer involved in the Irish youth setup, but do enjoy his work with TV3, and the only way we could enjoy it more would be to hear him have a go at the following names:

Billy Ketkeophomphone

A French player whose parents hail from Lao, Billy Ketkeophomphone would likely just be called Billy by many commentators, although he wears 'Ketkeo' on the back of his shirt because there just isn't enough room for his actual name.

Christian Fuchs

We've heard Brian Kerr say "Christian FOOOKS" before, and that's why we want to hear it again. Now at Leicester, he could be about to finish a fooking great season in England with a Premier League winners medal.

Papy Djilobodji


Chelsea signed him and loaned him straight back where he came from like they do with so many young talents, and Brian probably breathed a sigh of relief. "Jeeloboji" in case you needed help yourself, it would be fantastic to hear Kerr have a go.


Asier Illarramendi

We're sure he's fully aware of the former Real Madrid midfielder, but we still imagine that basque pronunciation isn't something that Kerr is a fan of.

Jean-Marie Dongou Tsafack

Former Barcelona striker now playing at Real Zaragoza, Dongou Tsafack from the mouth of Brian Kerr would most likely get a million views on the Vine in an hour.

Grzegorz Krychowiak

A fantastic all-around midfielder who scored against Ireland in Euro 2016 qualifying, Krychowiak's name causes confusion everywhere outside of his homeland of Poland. We believe it should be said "Krikov-yak", but every English speaking commentator gives their own guess.


Reza Ghoochannejhad

Former Charlton Athletic striker, also goes by 'Gucci', an absolute nightmare for commentators anywhere.

Sokratis Papastathopoulos

Dortmund's big defender's name looks like a parody of a Greek character, so he usually is just called Sokratis.

Masaaki Higashiguchi

Just please let this happen. Actually, not likely as Kerr probably won't be commentating on Gamba Osaka anytime soon.


Gorka Iraizoz

Another trip back to Basque country, this time for a shorter name that hits just the right vowels for Kerr's majestic range.

SEE ALSO: Brian Kerr Beautifully Expressed Just How Irritating Diego Costa Can Be

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