Don't look now, but it's that time of year again. The weather outside may be absolutely miserable, but that won't stop the return of club GAA training.
Whereas many of the more talented club players around the country may be looking forward to this day, there is a sizeable section that are dreading it with every fibre of their being.
They will spend the next few days humming and hawing over whether or not to go back at all this season. After all, it's not as if they would be any big loss to the panel.
In the end, they will go back. However, not without having some rather negative thoughts ahead of their glorious return to the local pitch.
READ HERE: Remembering The Day Ciarán McDonald Proved His Greatness
7 Thoughts A Bad Club Player Has Ahead Of January Return
1. 'I'm not taking the piss this year'
In hindsight, I might have gone a bit overboard last year. I did turn up at most of the training sessions, but my commitment in between that was... less than optimal.
Between weekend drinking sessions with the lads and a few takeaways every week, I could definitely could have been in better shape.
That's all going to change this season.
2. 'I hope this new manager is sound'
That lad we had last year was a dope.
It was a bad start when he was picking lads that weren't even turning up to training, even if they admittedly they were some of our better players. He didn't even learn my name until July.
The fresh start is exactly what I need to get in and around the team.
3. 'Those lads training over the winter better not get any ideas'
Look, I know we were given winter training programs, but who in their right mind would spend their time doing that in the off-season? Probably John, the lickarse.
Wait until you see him up here now on the first night, flying out of the traps and going as hard as he can in every drill to make the likes of me look bad.
He'd sicken you that lad.
4. 'What does lifting weights have to do with playing football?'
Conditioning this, core strength that. Whatever happened to playing football?
No championship was ever won in a weights room. You'd do yourself more damage in there than anything else.
5. 'They're surely not going to make us run in the first session back?'
They will surely ease us back in? No point making fools of ourselves on the first night back anyway.
Lads will only end up throwing in the towel if they start dogging us on day one. A few drills, bit of handpassing, kick a few points. That's the only job.
As long as this new manager doesn't fancy himself as a mini Jim McGuinness, we should be alright.
If I hear talk of a beep test I'm tabling a motion of no confidence at the committee meeting in February.
6. 'Outdoor training in this weather is inhumane'
Is there any chance the budget might be there to rent the Connacht Air Dome for the next few weeks?
I can get a few of the minors to do a collection outside mass next Sunday if needs be.
7. 'I wonder what the numbers for junior B are like this year?'
Lets be realistic. I don't have the commitment, talent, or general determination to get anywhere near the first team this year.
As long as a heap of young lads don't end up kicking me off the Junior B team, this season will be deemed a success.
SEE ALSO: The Brilliant Story Behind The UCC Skull And Crossbones, AKA The Best GAA Jersey Ever
