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The Typical Opinions Of The Classic Mayo GAA Fan

The Typical Opinions Of The Classic Mayo GAA Fan
By Conor Neville
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The things that Mayo supporters believe...

1.  Limerick is approximately an hour closer to the Kerry border than it is to the Mayo border

Of the many cruel and unusual defeats Mayo have shipped in modern times, the 2014 semi-final replay defeat has left possibly the sourest taste.

2. Pre-2007 - We were wrong to get rid of John O'Mahony in 1989, once we bring him back that's the final piece of the puzzle

1998. As Keith Duggan put it, 'the county sat idle as John O'Mahony led a scintillating Galway team to a famous All-Ireland victory.'

3. Post-2010 -  How could he concentrate what with being a TD and all?

It was wrong of Enda to include him on the ticket what with his greater responsibilities. Longford in June 2010. Talk about an underwhelming exit. 

4. Something about Cormac Reilly

It took quite an effort for a Meath man who wasn't around in 1996 to become the most despised Meath man in Mayo. Cormac somehow pulled it off.

5. Fair play to Keegan, we needed to get more cynical. The rest do it. 

Many Mayo supporters - none of whom attended the 2012 All-Ireland semi-final - believe cynicism is something other teams have done to them in the past. Teams who have beaten them, essentially.

They were thus inclined to welcome Lee Keegan's bravura displays of cynicism in both Salthill and Croke Park last year.

6. He sent off their worst fella and our best fella

Mayo supporters tend to take a very dim view of Colm Coyle's abilities. Pat McEnaney plucked two fellas at random but malevolently decided to select Mayo's best player at random. Just because he had a tan and stood out.

7. There is no global landmark that can't be improved with a giant Mayo4Sam sign

We've already noted before how matters will come to a head in the 2034 All-Ireland championship.

Mike McHale (22) from Belmullet, is currently living in fear of his life after scrawling 'MAYO FOR SAM '34' on the side of the Al Aqsa Holy Mosque in Jerusalem. The incident started 14 days of rioting in the Muslim world and the Ayatollah issued a fatwa against the young Mayo supporter. He is currently being guarded around the clock by two rather diffident local Gardai. A fund has been set up to support him with Salman Rushdie, Richard Dawkins and Fox News being his main supporters.  

8. Mayo 4 Sam (insert whatever year it happens to be)

They're an optimistic bunch but there is a hint of irony and self-parody going on here.


The Typical Opinions Of The Classic Dublin Gaelic Football Fan 

Read more: Eight Things That Every Munster Fan Knows To Be 100% True

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